My mother is a narcissist. Her family of origin consisted of herself, (the oldest), her younger brother and both her mother and father. Her father was a blue collar worker that never missed a days worth of work, but regularly drank at the local bar prior to coming home for the day. He smoked five packs of cigarettes a day, and never allowed his wife to drive his car, but always allowed his daughter (my mother) to drive his car. There is a story that my grandfather once chased my grandmother down the street barefooted when grandmother decided she would drive the car anyway. He chased her completely barefooted down a busy street screaming, "Don't take my red job!" (his car. He pitted my mother and his wife against each other. Grandmother resented my mother, but my controlling grandfather doted on my mother. Grandmother never knew her own father and was raised by an aunt and uncle with nine boys of their own. She was often shipped from house to house. Grandfathers father was also a proud drunk. My grandfather and grandmother divorced when my mother was 18 and leaving to college, but lived her childhood listening to her drunk father whom she admired and grandmother screaming and fighting. After grandparents divorced, grandmother never could find another stable spouse and went on to marry and divorce four other men. Grandfather married and divorced one woman after nine months and then went on to marry a woman for 13 years prior to his passing. For years, grandmother and mother did not get along and grandmother being a nurse would get doped up on pain killers, etc. According to reading the book Disarming the Narcissist, mom was the lonely deprived child and the reading outlined the life I knew of my grandparents and my mothers upbringing to a tee. Mom became all about image because that was how grandfather recognized her and to overcompensate for her background she demanded perfection and status for herself. If we did not meet her standards, we were ignored or discarded. Yet she never really guided any of us. It was as if she wanted to keep us lower to her to remain her loyal supporters. If there was success in her children, she would become angry and then deny that anger, but it was evident. I believe the fact that she never doted on me as her narcissistic father did is one of the many reasons I did not become narcissistic. In order to heal, I feel I have to reach back and come forward to the present to understand. It seems to be working for me. Who were your naricissitic parent's parents?
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