BOTH parents are narcs and another issue....
so, do any of you have both parents that are narcs? i am reading this book the children of the self aborbed....it keeps referring to "the parent"...i know this is just a "term" but BOTH of my parents are narcs and i feel it makes it worse for me since i never had a normal relationship with either of them......HOWEVER, i used to be best friends with both of them also, so in a huge way, i felt like a had a great relationship with them my whole life although they did very f'd up things to me off and on..like a roller coaster. so, have any of you been best friends with your narc parent (s)? i always say i don't know how i was always best friends with them, but i have discovered over the years, how that has happened....(1), i didn't know any better. my parents have been coming to me about their personal problems since i was 9. problems such as their fights with each other, their sex problems, my mom's affairs, their money problems, everything you can think of, they have projected on me. since i knew no better,(2) i thought them telling me all of their problems was a form of love...that they trusted me, that they relied on me, etc. etc. .....although i never liked it at all..i didn't enjoy hearing about their sex problems...none of their problems! and then when i truly needed them in my life, they were not there to support me emotionally, physically, on no level...i don't know why i thought this would change as i got older and had kids! well, once again, yes, i do know why i would think that things would be good when i had kids....i was best friends with them most of my life except for the times that i felt like they were more like the enemy because of all of the hurtful things they have said and done...but somehow, without them saying sorry or trying to fix things, i just let things be and continued on with the relationship although i had so much hurt left inside and it was never dealt with. i always partied with my parents....they were at 99% of all of my parties in my 20's.... and even in my late teens when i still lived at home, i was allowed to have parties with alcohol and they would be there and me and my friends would be drinking.....i thought that was so cool. and in my 20's, they seemed more like a friend than a parent, so i was able to do and say anything in front of them. i thought this was great! but it never stopped their hurtfulness out of the blue on millions of occassions, but then after they would do whatever to hurt me, i would just invite them to the next party, and then that was that....so basically when i really analyze it, i only felt close to my parents because i was able to drink in front of them and act like a drunk as* in front of them in my 20's.....that doesn't really make a best friend...but i guess in my 20's, maybe that did make a best friend...that's what i did a lot in my 20's..i went to work and then come home and party with my boyfriend and friends. i really want to talk about my sex issues at some point...i will "warn" people in the subject line just in case....i can't get into it right now...i already am feeling emotionally drained after reading more of that book and typing this...but basically, my parents had sex in front of me all of the time..not "on purpose", but they just didn't care when and where or if i was asleep or not....it would be in the same tent (we always went camping my whole life), it would be in the same hotel room, it would be in a camper which the bed was right next to them, it was hundreds of times since i was 9-10. they are so inappropriate and i just can't type anymore. thanks for listening!
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