
Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group
A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics
Does Anyone Have Abandonment Issues?


LisaACOA
I do, I will elaborate more later today.
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I was totally invisible to my mother unless she needed a whipping post to physically & mentally abuse.
I was the only parent in the family. I was always in REALITY & tried to SOLVE problems. Nobody would listen to me & these days they're afraid of me ~ I think it's because I made them feel their feelings.
They'd rather be miserable & that's their 'comfort zone.'
After so many years of professional help, AA, meds, ECT, my comfort zone is 'contentment.'
It was a scary day when she got into a van with that ugly OLD asshole and just left us.
She eventually (a few years later) came back to the city where we lived and we did have a relationship.....but of course the damage had been done. It was never the same.
After that she continued to drink and made us all watch while she committed slow suicide by vodka.
She died at age 63 of cirrhosis. I am so screwed up from every bit of this, I don't know if I will ever work through it.
I definitely have abandonment issues. These surfaced during therapy sessions. As we wiscussed my childhooh a flood of memories surfaced all with a central theme of abandonment. I too look forward to the discussion.
My Mom divorced my Dad when I was 8 years old. She cheated on my Dad so since she did that, I chose to live with my Dad who raised me. My Dad was the Alcoholic. Then my Dad died of the Alcoholism two months before I graduated from highschool. Then I got married and my Husband died. My best friend of 22 years ruined our relationship. We moved in together and she really ended up taking advantage of my kindness in so many ways. So we ended the friendship, that was another major loss for me. I have really put my heart and soul into to some other relationships and it seems like the relationship are too one sided. I am a giver and I attract takers. I like being a giver but, I hope in my next relationship I find a giver. When both parties are givers you can have a beautiful relationship.
I hope with working through these issues... I won't feel like everytime I love someone they are either going to leave me or die. I hate worring about that as much as I do.
My heart goes out to all.
For me both parents were/are alcoholics and it can be tricky at time, wanting to be there and help my mom even though, at time I just can't. Father left when I was 14. So yes I must say I do have issues.
Hugs, Sherrall
In my family, my parents never grew up to be responsible adults so they blamed me for everything THEY did wrong.
I was the only one who always knew what was going on & had to fend for myself thru everything.
A pedophile lived next door who would grab us. My mom didn't do anything or say anything. I was getting beat up every day after school by a girl down the street who was bigger than me. No help.
I was totally invisible since the time I realized I was here on earth.
By the way, in the mid 80's, I was driving down a highway when I realized that I deserve to live on this planet!!
Speaking about abandonment add to the s-it when my dad was home he terrorized me with fear of explosive abuse so it was a double edge swords that my mother and I confront daily !
The show still goes on....
Phil
Growing up everything looked perfect on the outside..a beautiful home in the suburbs, neat, clean, private schools. But I lived in fear every day of my childhood. And I never had anyone to turn to. As I look back, it's kind of unbelievable.
I think to GIVE THIS TO GOD is the only way to heal.
My own mind can't fix itself.
Love xx