I do too. I look forward to discussing this with you.

In so many ways. Right now I experience the pain of having my father leaave me first emotionally through alcohol, and then by suicide by not getting responded to by someone I feel is responsible for whatever good feelings that I've had recently. The waiting to see if he'll call is like the question that I must carry in myself so much...am I worth it? It is very painful.

We ARE worth it, and I think God is telling me to get the hell out of my situation right now. I don't know.

We all have abandonment issues because the parent(s) who drank DID abandon us as a child!! My Mother drank my whole childhood and into my adulthood and she was sober only the last 10 yrs she was alive. My father left when I was barely 11. I'm 49yrs old and I -still- believe that I've been "abandoned" by every man I've had a relationship with and I know I will have this abandonment fear the rest of my life. I'm also very angry that no one bothered to tell my 2 brothers and myself how to play this game called LIFE!!!! As an adult, I still feel like a lost & confused child on the inside. Is this normal????????

I was wrong....I'm not going anywhere...sometimes I think I hear God telling me something, and I'm wrong. God never abandons us...people abandon each other and God. I will let Him rebuild my marriage to what He wants us to have together.
: )

Great question, Lisa.
I was totally invisible to my mother unless she needed a whipping post to physically & mentally abuse.
I was the only parent in the family. I was always in REALITY & tried to SOLVE problems. Nobody would listen to me & these days they're afraid of me ~ I think it's because I made them feel their feelings.
They'd rather be miserable & that's their 'comfort zone.'
After so many years of professional help, AA, meds, ECT, my comfort zone is 'contentment.'

Yes, I'm sure I do have abandonment issues. My mother left our family when my brother and I were 16 and 14 years old. By that time she had been cheating on my dad for at least a year and I was pissed at her already anyway.

It was a scary day when she got into a van with that ugly OLD asshole and just left us.

She eventually (a few years later) came back to the city where we lived and we did have a relationship.....but of course the damage had been done. It was never the same.

After that she continued to drink and made us all watch while she committed slow suicide by vodka.
She died at age 63 of cirrhosis. I am so screwed up from every bit of this, I don't know if I will ever work through it.

Lisa,

I definitely have abandonment issues. These surfaced during therapy sessions. As we wiscussed my childhooh a flood of memories surfaced all with a central theme of abandonment. I too look forward to the discussion.

Thanks N2thelight!! After reading your comment... I realized I never added my reply to this post.

My Mom divorced my Dad when I was 8 years old. She cheated on my Dad so since she did that, I chose to live with my Dad who raised me. My Dad was the Alcoholic. Then my Dad died of the Alcoholism two months before I graduated from highschool. Then I got married and my Husband died. My best friend of 22 years ruined our relationship. We moved in together and she really ended up taking advantage of my kindness in so many ways. So we ended the friendship, that was another major loss for me. I have really put my heart and soul into to some other relationships and it seems like the relationship are too one sided. I am a giver and I attract takers. I like being a giver but, I hope in my next relationship I find a giver. When both parties are givers you can have a beautiful relationship.

I hope with working through these issues... I won't feel like everytime I love someone they are either going to leave me or die. I hate worring about that as much as I do.

I DO- EVERYONE ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT DADDY ISSUES....WELL I HAVE MOMMY ISSUES...LOL*SORRY FOR THE CAPS THE LOCK IS STUCK...LOL. *

I all so have abandonment issues, but I have worked really hard on tiering to learn that I am not to blame and that I can and must take care of me first. It's just very hard at times.
My heart goes out to all.
For me both parents were/are alcoholics and it can be tricky at time, wanting to be there and help my mom even though, at time I just can't. Father left when I was 14. So yes I must say I do have issues.

Hugs, Sherrall

I am struggling with having a desire to be happy, conditioned to be miserable and so I abandon myself daily, and am working on it.

Abandoned? I remember a holiday with all the family. I don't know where I was in my Aunt & Uncle's House but there was real joy coming from the living room. My Uncle was saying, "Now we have a picture of ALL the females in the this family." I didn't know what he meant until I saw the picture of 5. I would have made it 6.

In my family, my parents never grew up to be responsible adults so they blamed me for everything THEY did wrong.
I was the only one who always knew what was going on & had to fend for myself thru everything.
A pedophile lived next door who would grab us. My mom didn't do anything or say anything. I was getting beat up every day after school by a girl down the street who was bigger than me. No help.
I was totally invisible since the time I realized I was here on earth.
By the way, in the mid 80's, I was driving down a highway when I realized that I deserve to live on this planet!!

Being an only child and having to cope with the loss of childhood still gives me flashbacks when I feel haunted by feeling alone. I can relate to you Lisa that my wife,who was my first love and my best friend died after 6 years. Time helps heal somewhat but the hole in the soul never fully heals.
Speaking about abandonment add to the s-it when my dad was home he terrorized me with fear of explosive abuse so it was a double edge swords that my mother and I confront daily !
The show still goes on....


Phil

Man, do I ever! My mother died when I was 18 months old. Then my dad remarried when I was 3. The woman beat me daily. My dad drank to escape the living nightmare, therefore he never protected me...and on and on it goes. I've always felt alone.
Growing up everything looked perfect on the outside..a beautiful home in the suburbs, neat, clean, private schools. But I lived in fear every day of my childhood. And I never had anyone to turn to. As I look back, it's kind of unbelievable.
I think to GIVE THIS TO GOD is the only way to heal.
My own mind can't fix itself.
Love xx