Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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/ Adoption Support Group

to adoptees..that have found birth families

deleted_user
deleted_user
OK, some of you have probably read my other post so this may sound redundant. I'm 32, I was adopted. I had a good life growing up, great parents, just found my birthmom a little over a month ago. I am very glad that I found her and we are talking quite a bit, we are meeting for the first time next week. My a-parents are ok with the whole thing. Here's my trouble. now I am having this feeling that I dont "belong" to either family, which is totally ridiculous, I know. Of course, my family is still my family, but I am feeling a little lost. I'm just wondering if anyone else experienced this craziness
deleted_user
deleted_user
Fuckn ay yeh,been there before.
Dunno wot to say to help,just that I fully commiserate with you and know exactly where you are coming from,and I guess one thing to be thankful for is that your A-parents are supportive(or at least OK!)with it. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I mean,I imagine it would be a diff exp to meet them as a mature adult,but still,there must be sum parallels!! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
you should write down a list of ?'sfor her that way u have an idea of what u want to ask.. have u wanted to chat there os a chat everynight at msn.com in a group called adoptese. please joe if u eant to join email joesoll@adoptionhealing.com for the password. message me letting me know if u want to
deleted_user
deleted_user
good luck dear and I certainly hope everything works out for you. keep us posted and let us know how your meeting goes with your birthmother.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's a normal feeling hon, and it will play it's course. We grow up with 'you have one morther and one father' that's the norm...those that are adopted get lost in societies version of the 'norm' As you go through discovering this new aspect to yourself the pieces will fall into place and as Never said GL luck and keep us posted
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi medge .. I too was adopted and found my birthparents about 16 yrs ago . We have a great relationship . I also gave up a child when I became pregnant at 17 . So I kind of see both sides of the fence . what helped me was I like to think of my birthparents as more people to love and who love me ,, But they can never replace my parents .It takes awhile to adjust to the whole situation but in time you should feel more relaxed . I wish you all the best . take care sincerely Faith&Hope
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine wasn't so much that I didn't feel a part of either, but that I felt pressure to see them in the same way. But they aren't the same. My a mom raised me; my b mom shares my genes. They are just so different. it took me awhile to figure out how to deal with each. I still feel the strongest, realest connection with my afamily. But there is an undeniable bond with my bmom especially. It just takes time to figure out where all the feelings and boundaries lie. Hang in there. It has been 9 years since I found my bparents, and sometimes it still feels strange. But, like you, I am glad I did it.
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