i found out,last year,that before myself and my brother whose 22) was born,my parens had a daughter and gave her away for adoption.every single day feels like im moving a one step along in a very long que.i know my sister,where ever she may be,.is prosbaly really happy and thats why she hasnt shocen to find us,but im comsumed by the need for her in my life,not a day goes by when i doint think about her,i know my family mebers those who know,that is) feel the same.sinse i foudn out about my sister,a piece of my family seems to fit together and it now feels as though is always been incomplete.i wonder,what she looks like,if she has my nose,or my dads nose,i wonder if shes happy,i hope,to god,that she is.i hope if she knew me she'd be proud of me.i find it so hard in world that sometimes seems so small,yet is so geographiclaly big that shes lost out there and i cant evenstand a chance find and how to get back to operarting like normal when at the back of my mind i want to find her more than anything in the world,and for her,even thouigh i dont know her,thingsshould carry on,till shes there,with us..theres so much i want to tell her,i cant see her face,know her,and tell her that she should find us,because it wasnt our choice to loose her,if it was down to us,she would have always been there.i dont even know where to start looking,and im so scared that if i foind her,she'd hate me because i wasnt adopted.im even scared that if we did find he,everyone would love her more than me because shed returned to us,thats the most twisted part.its eating me up,and my fsmailt just dont want to talk.i just nhipe that people what what its like.i need to know im not alone.
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