My husband, myself and our 6 year old bio daughter traveled almost exactly 1 year ago to China to get out youngest daughter. She started off in an orphanage but developed congenital heart disease and had surgery to repair it. After that she was in Foster Care. But apparently she was ripped right out of the home she had been living in for 13 months since 1 year of age and brought to us. I was the one she came to at the adoption office however the 2nd day she only wanted her dad. But by the 3rd day she wanted me again and day by day she began to reject her dad by having total meltdowns when he tried to help her eat, toilet, bathe, get dressed or just anything she needed help with. She was completely potty trained when we got her but she refused to ask him for help toileting and reverted to wetting herself and the other which was ok since she was barely 2 years old. We wanted to use that as attachment to get closer to her however she would scream at her dad. There were times that she would have a meltdown just coming home if she knew he was there or if he was the one to take her out of the car. But what was so strange is that when we went to church or was out in public, she acted like she wanted only him. He had to carry her everywhere and help her. But as soon as we got home. MELTDOWN and forget about dad. The meltdowns have gotten better and we have learned her triggers but she still has them. We've tried what the books say- Holding therapy, time in . It works once then never again and I cant do them because I am the one she wants. So holding therapy with me has not effect on her. We have thought about therapy but have gotten advice that we need to treat her like a normal kid. She isn't normal though. Very smart but a traumatic past. We've tried the norm and it seems to be the only thing that is consistent and her daddy gives her lots of hugs when she melts down over him. What has anyone tried or what has anyone who has been adopted know on the subject on what will help our little girl attach to her daddy!
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