I understand wanting to please everyone. Is the advice that you are getting conflicting? My main concern is that you don't get conflicting advice/help/whatever.

i'm not excatly clear on what you're saying. could you please elaborate more??
I would really appreciate hearing from you again.

What I have been trying to say is that with 2 sets of parents that are possibly giving you two different sets of advise or information. Basically I understand that. I have been there. My birth father was a controller and when I had to live with him in High School I struggled between him and my legal guardian (this is who i call my mom). In my experience when the advice that you get is conflicting that is when you feel lost, in the middle, and really start to struggle with what you should do.

In your heart you know what is right or wrong but the love that you have for both parents will over take you and you will find yourself trying to please everyone and sometimes lose who you are.

This is what happened to me and it was really hard.

Dooes this make more sense?

I'm curious - do you feel more like you should listen to your adoptive parents vs. your birthparents? Depending on when you were adopted, I am guessing you may have always known your adoptive parents as mom and dad. It is a wonderful thing to show respect for both sets of parents - you are obviously a very caring person since you postd here and are worried about pleasing everyone, but as an adoptive mother who is working hard to raise two children, I would like to think that if you needed parental advice and support, you would reply on your parents - the ones who raised you.

man...I'm 34 and my parents STILL tell me what to do! Drives me nuts too...

Do you feel like you could talk to them? Tell them how you feel? If not I get it...I can't really talk to my parents either...

RobynS....WONDERFUL advice!

it's not really about having to listen to them. it's about the confusion i'm in, it's about having 4 people instead of 2 telling me how to do things, and what to do.
i'm trying to find balance in this situation. and i just can't do it. i'm confused. i have no idea who to make more important, who t show more attention, etc.

Making them happy is important but making yourself happy is more important. At your age you are at a point were you need to do what is right for you and find your way.

I would take their advice and see how the advice "fits" in with Your life as well as what you are already thinking.

I am sure that both sets of parents understand you trying to find your way and that is probably why they are trying to give you advice.

It sounds like you do have a good relationship with all 4 of these people, so talk to them about how you are feeling and how their advice makes you feel. I am sure they will understand and support you.

I agree with Waitingforbaby, listen to everyone and see what you can take out of it that's positive. As a birthmother I always imagined that my daughter would appreciate having more people in her life that love her than less.

Being the ones that raised you vs the ones that brought you into the world qualifies neither to give you the best advice.

Oh and, like someone else already said, do parents ever STOP giving you advice? They only do because they care :)