I can't begin to understand your situation but I can tell you this, no one can get clean for someone else. He has to be ready and care enough about himself. He may have loved you more than anything else in his world, but he didn't love himself for whatever reason. He didn't have the support or self esteem or whatever to get clean. Do you have the right to be angry? Absolutely! I think you are angry because you never got the chance to ask him questions and also because he died. Cherish your dad, I know I do mine.

I wasn't adopted. I had to live with my father. He was an alcoholic and emotionally unavailable. His beer & cigarettes were the highlight of his life. He talk all day about all this grand bs. That was the beer talking. I went to Social Services because I was totally neglected. The Social Worker found a beautiful house in the suburbs for me to live. It was a group home for girls but at least I was taken care of. My mother only cared about numero uno, HERSELF. She came first. She had all these nice coats, clothes and shoes and I didn't get shit. My father eventually died from drinking way too much. Beer for breakfast lunch and dinner just don't mix. So be thankful you didn't have to live with the bullshit.

my dad is my hero in more ways than I can count. i love hime and Im thankful for him everyday of my life. But i never got the chance to form my own opinion about my father. i never got the chance to ask him questions, I never got the chance to tell him that he was a shitty father. that is what makes me soo mad. And I hate that I am mad all the time...at a man who I dont even know. I am getting married in Dec and you can bet you rlast dollar on the fact that my DAD will walk me down the isle.

Of course you have the right to be mad! Rejection would piss me off too! I can not say much about your situation, because I have not ever dealt with addiction before. I do however know about rejection and anger, and it is ok to be angry. Maybe you should get some help to work through these feelings, because it is ok to be angry, but at some point you have to move past that. Good luck!

You are not responcible for your feelings... only for what you do with them.

It is perfectly okay for you to be mad at someone who is dead. If you dont' deal with your emotions now where you are, they will come back tenfold later. Just be patient. I know its cliche, but time does heal. Good luck to you sweetie!

Kelly97 said it all! Good Luck

Yes, Kelly97 said it all!!
To my Father I was only important when he wanted ***. Other than that I was a piece of trash, and still am in his eyes.
I look at it that way, if He doesn't care about me, why should I care about him?? He wouldn't even know that I miss him. So why bother? He doesn't deserve me.

hell yeah be mad!

You do not have to be adopted to face what you are! My wife had an abusive father. Mentally, phsycially and sexually. She will be dealing with that even more since he had died.

I am adopted and have rejection issues also. Reading helps as their are many good books. Plus there are many good support groups.

We all have our demons.

Paul