Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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Is it ok to feel like this?

deleted_user
deleted_user
It has been nearly 2 weeks since my b-mum and I got in contact and I feel quite overwhelmed by both her and my reactions to the reunion. I never imagined that she would want to have any sort of relationship with me but she is thrilled I have finally found her and is already calling me her daughter (which I am happy with) I just don't understand where all my feelings for her have come from. I feel so close to her, really want to have a mum-daughter relationsip with her (which is what she wants too) yet I don't even know her! How can I feel like this about a stranger? I know there is a genetic bond between us but I am having real trouble understanding my need to be close to her. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled about what has happened, we talked for 2.5hrs on the phone and it was like we had known each other all our lives, but I keep thinking that what I am feeling can't be normal. Anyone else been through this?
lav
lav
I think that the feelings that you are experiencing are natural. You seem to me to have such a sensitive and loving heart. Why else would you feel this way? I know that you have said before that you don't want to hurt or offend your bmom. Obviously you have a good relationship with her that you don't want to harm. I know that you can have love in your heart for both moms. I know it may be hard, but you should think about letting them both know how you feel inside. You never know, it may help them to feel even more special than they already are!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
hey,
i also think the feelings you're having are natural. i tink they are great. you are a very sensitive and aware person. it is a good quality. i'm proud of you. and i'm happy for you. it is a previlage to be able to talk to both of your moms. it is not your duty to make sure they are happy. you are the first one to take care of, then someone else. you need to clearly set your boundries.
i keep in contact with both moms, and i love it!! they know what i want and need, and i know what they expect from me realizing the boundries i set for my self which they are not to cross. because of the situation, i need not to let me feelings guide me, but the principles behind it. does that make any sense?? sorry if i'm confusing.
take care, and have fun!! it's worth it, and your moms will not live forever. use your time and get to know both of them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your feelings are correct. I found out I had a different father at 19 years old. I totally understand where you are coming from. I think that you should take your time with feelings. Ask her questions, somethings you might not want to hear. You may have angry that she gave you away. It happens. You have to let he know what youa re feeling so you both can grow. When i meet my father at 21 it not as good as yours. My father choose drugs and jail over me. i am greatful for my mother keeping him away from me but jail kept him also. All he did was lie. Even when I tried to have a relationship with him I was the hurt one. he never gave the first step that he wanted to be there. So be brave and take it one day at a time. That is all you can do.

After a while you will be like best friends. Trust me.

Liah*
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