I don't know where to start, and reading all the discussions I just can't keep the tears away. But, I had my beautiful, amazing daughter in July of 05 and I decided to give her a better life with a wonderful family that I love dearly. I want to find someone who is a birthmother in an open adoption, that would be willing to talk to me about their experience and hopefully more. Also, if you are a teenager or adult who was adopted and have always had contact with your bm, I would love to talk about the good and the bad.
I don't regret what I did, I know she will have a better life, but it is just sooooo hard! For the first year I was beyond devistated. Just recently have I been able to go day to day and be able to function. I don't get to see her much because I'm in Texas and she is in Alaska, but there are times when I feel like it's just too hard and I want to cut off all contact, but I know I will regret it and I can't stand not being at least a small part of her life. I'm just lost and I have missed her growing up and I miss holding her in my arms and conforting her and feeding her and taking her outside and getting up all night long and having her spit up down my back without me knowing it and going on an interview. I just want to know if it ever gets better, if the pain goes away or if its worth it. Please! someone who is in my shoes or has been, I would love if we could talk. I promise I'm not one of those people who will just drag you down or just cry all the time, Im just having a ruff day today.