Over the next few weeks it will be 3 of my beautiful childrens birthdays and not 1 of them will be spent with me, instead i will imagine them opening their pressies, the birthday parties and the love, laughter and cuddles. Today i even looked through shopping web sites and chose what i'd buy them but i didn't buy them they lie on the shop shelf i'll get a letter next september telling me how the party went. I really can't do this i feel like i'm stuck in the middle, on one side i have a lovely husband and 2 wonderful boys then on the other side i have 6 brave and amazing children who are not with me, i know this sounds selfish but i miss my babies, i'm there mom and i want my babies.
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