I am new to DS but I feel like I am trapped in something I never anticipated. I have an adult daughter and work in mental health. Ever since I was mid-way thru my bachelors degree I wanted to work with and help children. I ended up mentoring a young man that is in states custody, had some legal issues but completed all requirements to be adopted and was put up for adoption. Due to the relationship we built and my daughter being over 18 I decided I would foster to adopt so I took the necessary steps to foster. He began spending time in my home to help transition that included overnight stays. Prior to his move in date I learned that he had gotten up in the middle of the night and snuck vodka and obtained the WiFi password to watch porn. At that point I moved the alcohol into a secure location and changed the password on the WiFi. Of course this decreased my trust in him but I know kids can be sneaky and wanted to give him a stable home life where he can be successful in life. As time when on we have struggled with his appreciation (never saying thank you yo Family members even though he heard us tell each other that), not completing assigned chores, arguing to the point it upset the entire house on a major holiday (this has happened twice now), video chatting with his girlfriend and exposing himself on the video chat, being sexually inappropriate with a girl on the bus (this is known by him telling someone else), smacking a girl on the butt at school and increased cussing. Now... he is 16 and I relaize that boys do not always think before acting but we have had several discussions about being respectful, appropriate and the consequences of certain actions that can include him obtaining charges for any sexual inappropriateness but he continues to participate in these behaviors and I am concerned that the behaviors are actually escalating. If he is charged with anything, b/c our community has a no crime or illegal activity clause in the lease, we could be evicted. The stress has been affecting my job performance at work. I do not want to give up on this kid but when do I say enough is enough??
I was paying $30/ month for apps on his phone to ensure he did not get into trouble that way but he can’t have a phone right now anyway due to his grades so I cut them out. He is never upsupervised when he is not in school. He attends therapy weekly and I have updated all of the team on his actions. What else can I do? He is jeopardizing everything I have worked for with his actions and he does not seem to care nor has he increased his thinking before acting.
Please help with any suggestions on what I can do. I have tried so many things already and they just do not seem to phase him.
Hi everyone. As you might have guessed from the title, I am new here to this group and to this website in general. About two hours ago (as of me writing this), I felt so overwhelmed with my emotions that I have bottled up over the years, that I ended up using the Crisis Text Line. The counselor there gave me a reference to this website as a way to help me. I will give a little bit of a...
I was married for 36 years to a man who was always emotionally - sometimes physically (he broke my nose) - abusive. Yet I stayed married to him until he died in 2009 (long story). I am back here after a few years' absence to let you all know that it IS possible to leave it all behind and be happy again. Nearly two years ago I met the love of my life, and we became engaged last fall. He promises...