Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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do we need counselling?

deleted_user
deleted_user
my life has changed so dramatically 4 months ago i met my birth mother and from that point we became obessed with each other and 3 months ago my adoptive mother died suddenly. we text each other at 10 ten times a day, talk on the phone for a least 1 hour a day and see each other every week. But even though we have this contact nothing ever seems enough. what i feel for her is it normal and when will it all calm down
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was adopted. now i live with my adoptive parents, and i keep in contact with m birth mother every chance i get. she lives in a different country, but we call eachother as much as we can afford it. i love both of my moms. i don't think it's wrong. i think you are simply making up the time you lost with eachother. i'm happy for you. stay happy!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I became so consumed with my bmom, I could barely function..it was like a love affair...but not in the way that sounds, you know what I mean. It's like I was starving for her attention. That has calmed down a little. but we talk almost everyday and I am constantly thinking about her. Sometimes I felt like no matter how close to her I was..I could never be close enough. So I know EXACTLY what you mean. I agree with what green said. We are just trying to make up for lost time and lost love
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just found my birth mum a week ago and like you I just want so much contact with her, we email everyday (as we are in different countries) and I long to be as close as possible to her emotionally. I am glad to see that I am not the only one feeling this way
deleted_user
deleted_user
Coming from an Adoptive parent side of things, I would make sure that you take the new found relationship at a pace that is meaningful and sustainable. "the making up for lost time" is a nice thought to have about all of this, but you truly can never make up for lost time, you can only focus on the future and the type of relationship that you can have with your bmom. I do think counseling could be a good idea, just to make sure that you are developing a sustainable and emotionally strong relationship with her.

I am sure you are also dealing with the tragic loss of your adoptive mom and it sure seems like you have been through a lot. I am not sure of your belief system, but knowing that we are God's first and foremost will truly allow you to know that as each of us accepts our adoption into his family, our earthly families are secondary to our faith and through this understanding our relationships here on earth become amazingly blessed!

God bless...
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