
Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

deleted_user
just wanting thoughts from adoptees.....
what would you recommend i do to reunite with her....
what would you of liked at 18
any thoughts would be appreciated!!
God bless you all
what would you recommend i do to reunite with her....
what would you of liked at 18
any thoughts would be appreciated!!
God bless you all
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Ms. Missy
ive done research and it seems that most adoptee girls want to be found or else look for their birthfamily
usually the adoptive parents stand in the way of this happening until they are on their own....
part of me wants her to find me that way i know it will be the right time for her too......
but then again i dont want to lose any more years that i already have.....
been praying for the right time.....
its nice to hear from adoptees and their opinions.....tks again
Hope everything turns out well and my best wishes to you!
Best of luck to you though, this must be such a nerve wracking and emotional time for you. I hope everything goes well for you. xox
I adopted all 3 of my children several years ago. They are now 12, 13, and 15 years old. My youngest came to me at birth through the foster care system, and barely remembers his birth mother altho, as an infant, he went thru the court-ordered reunification process with both birth parents. His adoption was finalized at age 2.
His brothers are actually bio-brothers to one another but not to my youngest. They came to me through foster care at agest 3 and 5. Their adoptions were finalized when they were 6 and 8.
Each of my sons has always known they are adopted. I have always been completely open with each of them, shared everything I have of their lives before me with them (and saved it all for them). I've also always told them I will help them locate and facilitate meeting w/birth parents w/them if they want my help. I've urged them to at least wait till they are 18 because of their emotional maturity (immaturity) levels.
Sometimes I've felt a little threatened by it all, and then I remember that, without their birth parents, my sons would not be in my life today.
I know my youngest son's birth mother is anxious to meet him - she and I have coresponded many times over the years - I send pictures and letters a few times each year. I have no contact with my older 2 sons' family of origin - long story, but their birth mom tried to steal them after parental rights had been terminated, and the county social worker and court judge recommended not having any correspondence w/them for this reason. I have provided county social workers with pictures and correspondence for the birth mother over the years and hope she has received those from me.
My point with all of this is, I will do whatever my sons want as far as finding and meeting parents of origin.
I know when I do feel a little threated by the idea of it all, those are my issues to work through.
I know my sons love me and I surely treasure them. I also know their lives may not feel complete eventually without attempting to have contact with birth families, and I truly honor that and will NOT stand in the way whatsoever of that happening if my sons want that in the future.
These relationships among the children, adoptive families and families of origin are sometimes hard to work through. But I know I went into adopting my sons many years ago fully aware of what was ahead for me, and choosing complete opennessand honesty with my children.
And I remain totally committed to whatever will help my sons have a fuller, happier, healthier, and more complete life experience. Whatever that involves.
I hope you will give your birth daughter the opportunity and freedom to make the choice herself about connecting with you. when she is ready. If she is ready. I'm not trying to be harsh with you, but I truly believe it becomes a choice only the adoptee has the right to make for themselves.
Blessed be.
Namaste.
Trish