Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
hi,
i have never asked for advice in this forum before so here it goes
i now live with my birthmom i have lived here since octbur 2nd 2010
i was adopted legally at 2 and was placed with my adoptive parents when i was 11 months.. it has alwasy been an open adoption fyi anyway so i never really wanted to know much about my birthdad but when i moved in i asked her what his full name was and she told me and we looked him up on facebook we were spellng it worng but anyway a few weeks after that mybirthmom got an email form my birthdad and they emailed back and forth a few times but thats a whole differnet story
so my mom is currenlty out meeting with a guy named lee.. he is one of her exs right after my birthdad to be exact so my birthdad and lee are or were friends so my mom asked lee to tell her about my birthdad.... from what i have been told form my mom lee said that my brithdad is a jerk and has been in jail and other stuff and his intentions aren;t good at all
so lee told my mom that i have 9 siblings from my birthdad none of which he pays child support on by the way
so lee knows 5 of whcih and iwas just told that i will be meeting 3 of them soon:)
i;m told there i a lot more to this whole story and i will get to know it eveually
lee toldmy mom that my birthdad is the one who got me taken from my birthmom he went to teh courts and told them mymom was unfit intesrting to say the least.. so i;m haveing very mixed feelinsg about all o fthis
i;m exicted tyhat i have more siblings but don;t know how u know to realte to them i;m sure ill figure it out but idk i;m curious about things and have a lot of questions
alos my mom told me that when she was fighting for me lee was helping her cause he wanted me which confuses me but i;m sure ill get clarity soon
lee wants to meet me sometime not sure how i feel about that one yet
so basicaly i;m askingif anyone had been thru this and can help me undertsnad and sort thru my feelinsg ?
i have never asked for advice in this forum before so here it goes
i now live with my birthmom i have lived here since octbur 2nd 2010
i was adopted legally at 2 and was placed with my adoptive parents when i was 11 months.. it has alwasy been an open adoption fyi anyway so i never really wanted to know much about my birthdad but when i moved in i asked her what his full name was and she told me and we looked him up on facebook we were spellng it worng but anyway a few weeks after that mybirthmom got an email form my birthdad and they emailed back and forth a few times but thats a whole differnet story
so my mom is currenlty out meeting with a guy named lee.. he is one of her exs right after my birthdad to be exact so my birthdad and lee are or were friends so my mom asked lee to tell her about my birthdad.... from what i have been told form my mom lee said that my brithdad is a jerk and has been in jail and other stuff and his intentions aren;t good at all
so lee told my mom that i have 9 siblings from my birthdad none of which he pays child support on by the way
so lee knows 5 of whcih and iwas just told that i will be meeting 3 of them soon:)
i;m told there i a lot more to this whole story and i will get to know it eveually
lee toldmy mom that my birthdad is the one who got me taken from my birthmom he went to teh courts and told them mymom was unfit intesrting to say the least.. so i;m haveing very mixed feelinsg about all o fthis
i;m exicted tyhat i have more siblings but don;t know how u know to realte to them i;m sure ill figure it out but idk i;m curious about things and have a lot of questions
alos my mom told me that when she was fighting for me lee was helping her cause he wanted me which confuses me but i;m sure ill get clarity soon
lee wants to meet me sometime not sure how i feel about that one yet
so basicaly i;m askingif anyone had been thru this and can help me undertsnad and sort thru my feelinsg ?
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That is quite the story! From what I understand, you're going to need all the patience you can gather for your future meetings!
Remember, people make mistakes, and forgivness can help you through most, if not all of this. Keep your open heart and remember these siblings are a part of your life now, no matter how bad or good the situation was that created it.
As far as your personal feelings go, I don't know how you will react, but I know how I felt after meeting my birthmother. All ranges from excitement to pure nasty hate and rage went through me. How I dealt with those feelings were less than comendable, but alas, I have learned from the past.
Try to allow yourself to react, but also remember they are just as nervous as you are. They will reel with all the flavors of confusion, unless they have already started rediscovering the family before you. So in essence, I would suggest you consider them, and remember yourself as well. It is one heck of a ride, that is for sure.
Hugs to you, and chin up. You should be just fine when things calm back down.
well shane (birthfather) seems to be a real jerk and a liar so i don;t really belive naything he says.. he worte my birthmom a nasty email saying she is a horrbile and unfit mom and how he only signed the papers cause she already had.. which isn;t true at all
i was told last night that i get to meet 3 of my half siblings!!!
i;m actally very excited and hope it works out and it won;t be weird
lee called my mom toinght after my mom called him telling him about the email shane sent her
lee told us/her (i was sitting right there and both partioes were aware i was there) that he had a friend look shane up and there is 12 cases of child support wihc he is the father in .... i;m not one of them cause i was adopted out so ya if those reports are right then i have 12 other siblings wow is all i have to say
i would love to find all of them but idk if that is even possible if shane is denying he has that many
any suggestions?
12 brothers and sisters! WOW!
This could become very interesting!
Keep us UTD and keep a loving heart!
also. just as a caution. keep healthy personal boundaries alive and well in all your interactions. even if all your half siblings are loving and kind and have nothing but solid intentions, it sounds like you'll need those too. every family does, really ;)
best of love and luck,
beep.