Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
ok i dont know what they hell to write here or why im writing this but i wanted to tell u about my situation.
when i was a few months old my mum beat up my 2yr old sister so we had to be adopted. ive never known the reasons why she did that but deep down i do forgive her.
being someone i have no memories of and someone i dont really know, she doesnt mean as much to me as my family that adopted me do. they are who i call my family not her.
i dont know a thing about my biological dad, not even his name, i know i have a younger brother but i could have more brothers or sisters.
nearly a year ago my parents who adopted me kicked me out, god that was hard. i was a hard person to deal with tho- i had an eating disorder that changed me completley. that cant have been easy for them, my mum who adopted me told me she couldnt bear to watch me kill myself so she kicked me out. i understand it but it upsets me sooo much, that was the time when i needed her support more than ever and because it was too hard to understand she threw me out.
i went to live with my freind but things got so bad i was cutting my arms and abusing laxatives, diet pills, water pills etc to contorl my weight. again my freind didnt understand this so she too kicked me out.
god i felt sooooo FUCKING ALONE. it was like i was out of reach and no one could help me, at all. that was such a hard place to be in.
I then went to live in the YMCA hostel and i strated drugs, canibas, ecstasty and anphetmines. i was never afficted and only did it for a few months, my adoptive parents have not yet found out about this, they would go MAD if they knew.
I then got a house with ARCH, thats wear i am now. things were tough at first, i was sharing with people taking heroin but they got kicked out, then my house kept being broke into and my windows smashed etc. its calmed down alot now tho and i dont take any drugs apart from a spliff occasionally.
Im doing ok with my eating too, i suppose i just needed to grow up and although ive been thu alot im glad because ive gained soo much knowledge from it.
i feel like im missing something now tho and im wondering if maybe its my birth family. i dunno but i have an emptiness and i dont know what can fill it, maybe she will? but god i dont want to be let down. what if she doesnt fill my emptiness or what if she doesnt want to know me.
im nearly 19 now but i dont know if im ready to find out why she beat my sister i dont know if i could handle meeting her yet i half want to.
i sometimes wonder if shes thinking of me. if she remembers me? what she thinks i will be like? if she misses me?
my sister was adopted with me, she says she would meet our birth mum and that she forgives her too but that she doesnt need her in her life now but she says that when i want to meet her i only need to tell my sister and she will come with me. thats lovley of her but i cant bring myself to tell her and i dont know why.
can you help???
when i was a few months old my mum beat up my 2yr old sister so we had to be adopted. ive never known the reasons why she did that but deep down i do forgive her.
being someone i have no memories of and someone i dont really know, she doesnt mean as much to me as my family that adopted me do. they are who i call my family not her.
i dont know a thing about my biological dad, not even his name, i know i have a younger brother but i could have more brothers or sisters.
nearly a year ago my parents who adopted me kicked me out, god that was hard. i was a hard person to deal with tho- i had an eating disorder that changed me completley. that cant have been easy for them, my mum who adopted me told me she couldnt bear to watch me kill myself so she kicked me out. i understand it but it upsets me sooo much, that was the time when i needed her support more than ever and because it was too hard to understand she threw me out.
i went to live with my freind but things got so bad i was cutting my arms and abusing laxatives, diet pills, water pills etc to contorl my weight. again my freind didnt understand this so she too kicked me out.
god i felt sooooo FUCKING ALONE. it was like i was out of reach and no one could help me, at all. that was such a hard place to be in.
I then went to live in the YMCA hostel and i strated drugs, canibas, ecstasty and anphetmines. i was never afficted and only did it for a few months, my adoptive parents have not yet found out about this, they would go MAD if they knew.
I then got a house with ARCH, thats wear i am now. things were tough at first, i was sharing with people taking heroin but they got kicked out, then my house kept being broke into and my windows smashed etc. its calmed down alot now tho and i dont take any drugs apart from a spliff occasionally.
Im doing ok with my eating too, i suppose i just needed to grow up and although ive been thu alot im glad because ive gained soo much knowledge from it.
i feel like im missing something now tho and im wondering if maybe its my birth family. i dunno but i have an emptiness and i dont know what can fill it, maybe she will? but god i dont want to be let down. what if she doesnt fill my emptiness or what if she doesnt want to know me.
im nearly 19 now but i dont know if im ready to find out why she beat my sister i dont know if i could handle meeting her yet i half want to.
i sometimes wonder if shes thinking of me. if she remembers me? what she thinks i will be like? if she misses me?
my sister was adopted with me, she says she would meet our birth mum and that she forgives her too but that she doesnt need her in her life now but she says that when i want to meet her i only need to tell my sister and she will come with me. thats lovley of her but i cant bring myself to tell her and i dont know why.
can you help???
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
You've been through some rough stuff, my friend. It sounds like you finding out what doesn't help (cutting, drugs, etc), and what makes things worse...that's a lot of growing up.
If all you know about your birth mom is that she beat your sister, and you and her were taken away and put up for adoption, that has got to be disturbing to you. I knew my birthmother was only 16 when she had me, and before I worked through everything, even that bothered me. Until I worked things through, I still felt abandoned. I'm curious - where you live can you go to the agency that put you up for adoption and get some basic information about her and your birthfather? There might be information there that might help, and would not have the possible trauma of actually meeting up with your birth mother.
The "hole in your heart" you talk about...I believe the only thing that can fill that is a relationship with God, which comes from accepting Jesus Christ as you Lord and Savior. He's waiting for you...reading your post really showed me how much He has protected you, and how much He has His hand on your life.
Blessings, Jan
I'm so so sorry to hear about your endless heartache. Your adoptive parents and your friend really went about your problem with eating the wrong way. Do you still talk to your adoptive parents? Do they know your getting your life back on track?
That emptiness your feeling probably has something to do with your need to belong to something, whether its your adoptive family, a friendship family (a strong one, not associated with drug use obviously), the Daily Strength family, or, your birthfamily. In regards to your question as to whether your birthmum remembers you, i can garantee she does. Its impossible to forget a child that you've given up. And she probably thinks of you often.
As to whether you should find her, i don't know if that would be too hard to handle at this point in your life, and i would suggest getting your life stable with your family first, once your feet are firmly on the ground, your head is in the place you want it to be, and you feel at peace within yourself, then you can make that decision.
It'll probably be a tough experience and thus i think you'll need all the family support that you can muster. I'm sure your adoptive family misses you horribly and love you dearly.
God bless honey and best wishes.
I'm here if you want to talk. And i'm an 18 year old birthmother, if you wish to get some perspective on what we go through or how we feel about our babies?
Let me know. xx
There is no drug in the world that will lift you as high as he.He will give you peace that passes ALL understanding,your birthmother can't give you anything close.I was molested by my grandfather between ages 6& 9, I spent my life trying to make everyone that loved me pay for what happen, including myself! I used and abused most of the things you mentioned, and then some.I took my brokeness to him and I can't begin to tell you how my life has changed.He is the only cure for brokeness. I pray you find peace and healing. God Bless You.
I think Kando makes a lovely point though, there is someone else you need to talk to during this hard point in your life. You'd be amazed at how much strength you will muster from God, and may find alot of answers in him. Search the net for a story called 'footprints in the sand', that story has helped me through so many hard times and i think you could really use it.
Love and best, always. xx