Miss, it's not about changing anything you love about your life, it's about adding another layer to your identity. Your birth mom has no intention of trying to replace anyone, but I'm sure she'd like to know that you're ok, happy, and content. I'm sure that's what she made the adoption decision in the first place. Your birth family medical history is pretty valuable info, and your sister is your sister, even if you didn't meet her till now. Most siblings or birth parents wait until their children are adults before making contact, and they usually do it so they don't disrupt your adoptive family and confuse you in any way.

If your birth mom thinks she did the best she could for you by agreeing to the adoption, she might find it hurtful that you have no desire to meet her or talk. That's entirely your call, but I doubt meeting her will have any negative consequences for you. Look at the other side, she didn't hide the facts about you, and she obviously told your half sister about you. I think that makes her a pretty humble and thoughtful person. My own mom was assaulted by a family friend when she was 13, and she gave the baby up for adoption. Sadly she didn't tell me about it till I was forty and I pressed her over why my birth certificate had a box checked checked saying mom had had a previous live birth. You have much to gain and almost nothing to lose by adding another friend ti your life. Best Wishes.

My half sister has told her about me, I just am not really keen on meeting her. I asked my half sister about her and if she wanted to contact me and she never said anything so i am taking that as a no.. she went around that question lol.

So, I have just been taking it as it goes, my half sister is really nice and we never got along well until recently because she was busy moving somewhere. I am barely getting to know her... and then my birth dad called but he just wanted to put me on his will cuz he had no one else so its been too much in one year for me.. I need to slow it down not speed it up lol.

I just had my 3rd miscarriage and in the process of adopting a child from Russia. So I think I am speaking from the adoptive mother point of view. For me personally and it just me, it would be a very important thing to be a true mother to my adoptive child and I hope my child would fill the same way about me. I am doing international adoption because I don't want in 10-20 years from now a "real" mother knocking on my door asking to see "her" child. This would make fill horrible. So if she is a "real" mother when who I am? A child caretaker until he/she grows up? Did you talk to your parents about it? I think if the people who give your birth want to give you medical, family records that fine, but I think meeting them would hurt your parents filling. At list I would very hurt if my child would do that to me. Again maybe I am speaking out of line, but this is how I would fill. Good luck.

I'm the mother of two adopted children, adults now. My son is now trying to get his medical info. He would also like to find an older sibling who was given up for adoption before he was born. I'm OK with that, in fact I would be OK with him looking up his birth family. I think it's important to know your "roots". My kids just lost their adoptive Dad last summer, they both had a hard time with it, it was unexpected. My daughter has been real "clingy" since then and I try to get to see her often (she lives 4 hours from me) She has no desire to meet her birth parents but I wish she would at least try. She's a very sensitive and emotional person and rejection would really hurt her, maybe that;s what she is afraid of. When she got her medical info a few years ago, they offered her the "real" birth certificate, she refused it. She's still single and I worry that if something happened to me, she would be all alone. Her brother lives in another state. I wish she was happy and content like you but I have a feeling she's not.................

Yeah Mira21, i kind of got that vibe from my mom. She is kind of like not really okay with it because she is MY MOM she raised me since birth and so I am hers and not my birth moms. She kinda looks at it like well am I just chopped liver? I am not really keen on meeting my birth mom anyway, anytime soon. I have enough drama in my life for right now to last me about another few years.... I will probably want to meet her at least ONCE maybe but it isn't high on my priority list or anything.

Yeah, I mean some people take it better than others Lenox62 and that can be hard. I was pretty much fine with it since birth and I feel really lucky to have that mind set. I am an emotional person but it never bothered me.

There is this story about a lady who always said these are my two sons and this is my other adopted son. I never had to deal with that. I was my moms biological baby for all I knew because my whole family treated me as if I was never adopted and never really brought it up. I was the best thing that ever happened to most of my family. I am the only girl out of 5 boys... like cousins wise, I am an only child. But my Grandma and Uncle and Aunt and everyone thought of me as like the jewel because they wanted a niece and granddaughter so bad, I was the cherry on top of their life. I always have been. I am so blessed to be in my family I have never looked else where.

Hi- I loved reading your post. I am in the process of adopting internationally. Like your parents we plan on telling our child in a very normal fashion that he/she is adopted but I can only dream that they will feel they way you do.

Your mom must be very proud.