I really hope that this doesn't come off as sounding too childish but I really need to understand this. Why do people outside the adoption triad and even some within (adoptive parents and even adoptees) feel the need to sanitize adoption issues? When discussions of adoption related issues come up these are the people who are the first on the draw to say that adoption issues are rare and most adoptive children don't have these kinds of issues. Its especially irking when fellow adoptees say things like "I didn't have these kinds of issues and neither did any of my adopted friends" etc. etc. etc. Its almost like they think they have to save face or do damage control so that people who are looking to adopt don't get scared off. For example, I read a review for a book about adoptees who murder and this guy (an adoptee) made every attempt to distance himself from these people even going so far as to discount the whole primal wound idea. I'm trying really hard not to judge people like this but its really hard. They are doing nothing to promote further understanding. I've struggled with feeling voiceless and helpless my whole life. I'm finally finding my voice and speaking out. But with this it feels like my voice is being dismissed as being part of the "minority" of adoption cases. Thanks a lot! I'm sorry I didn't adjust to it as well as they did! Sheesh! Not only am I a freak but a vocal one at that! Maybe I should just shut up and slink back to my freak hole. Or is that exactly what they want me to do? Help!!!!!