Geez Nona, I wish there was something constructive I could say to smooth your path a little! I know the feeling of being apeased or put off. All I can suggest is keep at it..your grandson is worth it!!! My boys both did 1/2 days when they started Kindergarten..that is all they could handle. Their teacher however was great! She understood some kids don't fit the cookie cutter molds that others fit into. And I also understand the labels our kids get, it truly sucks!! Could you maybe spend some time in the classroom? Then you would see first hand what is happening? Sorry I'm not much help...hang in there!!! Cyn

I didn't think schools still paddled? You have to remember these kids are still little and they are just starting off.
I think for them school is like a playground with lots of kids, and many things to do.For my son at home he has no friends to realy play with nor does he have a yard to play in, so when he gets to school he wants to talk and play and not follow rules. When I was in school it was that way also for many, so what has changed? When i was in kindergarden i kept getting up and sharpening my pencil. Well teacher brought rope in and i got tied to chair...lol That has never left me. So I told my sons teacher. She was speechless. When did it become that kids can not be kids and they have to all be the same. I thought it was ok to be different and that if you did something wrong well you got taught a lesson one way or another. And to think we all lived through what it was like when we were in school.I think today schools don't want to deal with it any more. And I think our kids no alot more then what they are learning at school. Computers are a big thin in homes these days and out children are learning how to use them at home. At school it is still paper and pencil is some classes. Any way that is what i think.....Don't know if I helped any but just wanted you to know, your grandson is a normal little BOY....

Sorry about spelling :)

That's how my son's problems in school started. Every year, the teachers love him the first week, after that, they keep saying, he's great, he's bad (won't sit still, turn in homework, etc.) I get sick of them too. Our kids are NOT "bad". They simply can't control themselves for that long. Dylan has ADHD and PDD and teachers do NOT know how to deal with them. Every thing I say they either know already or dismiss. They expect us to be parents and DO THEIR JOB too. Sorry, can't have it both ways. Keep fighting.

I know ow you feel. Try and get very specific. Have her give you an example of HOW she re-directed. Many teachers think that telling them again to follow the rules is re-direction and it isn't. I have found that humor and praise works best, at least with my son. My son's kindergarten teacher was the best. She always re-directed and praised and found my son to be very responsive. For example my son would get up clap. tap his pencil, and sing all the time. Instead of telling him, stop that you are disrupting the class, she would say, " Come here Mozart, you are very musical and I really enjoy your songs, but not all the kids are as good a singer and musician as you are. If you can be less musical in class, it will help the other children Mozart. Tomorrow, you can do a concert for me." She gave my son a picture of Mozart, and told my son he was a musical genius. The next day my son tapped out a song and sang his heart out for her before class. She clapped and praised him and told him he was special. She told him that the other kids would be jealous of his talent, so he needed to keep it more secret, because he didn't want to hurt the other student's feelings. She called my son Mozart all year long. He did concert after concert for her before class. Every time he started to tap, she would whisper in his ear, "Save your concert for me." My son really felt special. He wanted to please, so he behaved. He wasn't made to feel bady, like he was wrong, a bad boy, and a problem. He's 18 and loves her till this day! That is re-direction at it's best. I have found that that kind of teacher is rare. It takes effort, love, and an understanding of ADD/ADHD and ODD that is missing now days in teachers. She became a teacher for the right reasons. To teach, and to nurture the little ones in their first experiences in the classroom. My son loved school then. After that it was down hill. He was excluded, made to feel like a bad boy, and dismissed. You are right, teachers do talk. They band together and talk to make their laziness, and poor effort with students acceptable. They are going to talk about your child anyway, so let them talk. You stay firm and let them know ALL of their effort is required and expected, just as your is from them. Also, don't let them lay a hand on your child. All it does is reinforce to him that who he is, is bad. If you tell a child enough, or show a child long enough that he is stupid, bad, or not worth your time, eventually they believe it. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. As far as the bus thing goes. The school is afraid you are going to sue them if he gets hurt. Tell them that you understand his activity level is high, and if he swings on the light pole or steps off the sidewalk you know it was not because they weren't watching him. A good re-direction for that would be for the teacher to tell him that she needs his help to make sure the kids get on the bus. Have him stand beside her with a clip board and tell him to count the kids or something. She can make him her unofficial monitor. He's in kindergarten for Pete's sake. Re-direct the energy positively. Don't threaten to paddle him. RIDICULOUS!!!!

My son has a very structured but nice teacher this year and it has made all thedifference in the world. He went from being the "bad boy" last year(with a crappy teacher) to just another kid this year. He is passing his class(not as high as he could) but passing. this is because he is not medicated. He is 9. His choice. Our teacher does not follw the 504 though and We have an upcoming meeting about it soon. I wish you well I know how it feels. The structure went a long way, and I believe it is true, when he went it was only 1/2 day. that was all he could have taken at the time.

Nona1 Ive been there done that. Does he have a 504 Plan at school? Getting one will help in the way his day at school is structured. Let me know.

No offense, but I think your son's teacher is a stubborn...hmmm...I cannot think of a nice way to say it. A friend of mine was having the very same problems with her son's kindergarten teacher last year. What made things worse was that the principal backed the teacher and no one returned any of the phone calls left, so my friend was unable to do anything. The school she was with completely over-stepped their bounds and told my friend that her son needed to be medicated (that is not a school's place). The principal went as far as telling my friend that her son did not have ADHD, he was just B-A-D. And that is exactly how she stated it to her. From reading what you said, that teacher is not doing a thing that is consistent. I know from experience that students with ADHD need structure and consistency. If she isn't doing any of these things, there is no way that she will see any change or improvement. BTW - about the bus line....I am sure she could think of something constructive for your son to do at this time that would keep him occupied and safe instead of what she is doing now. She just needs to actually step up and do her job and realize that not all kids are the same. I wish you the best of luck with this teacher.

We had this probelm with my son's first school (he is in Prep, the year before year 1 in Australia). We sent him to a private school, thinking he would get the attention he needed as a highly active being (he wasnt diagnosed at this stage). How wrong we were! He spent the majority of his time there in the principals or nurse's office (nurse when the principal couldnt stand him anymore :O ) or sent home from school because no-one wanted to deal with him. They approached him in completely the worst way possible, to the point where he because physically agressive to both the kids at school (making the situation even worse) and also me at home! He was SO distraught from being told how bad he was all the time, that I dont know if he did it out of pure frustration, or to show them how bad he really could be.

We took him out when they decided to suspend him until "phsychological assessment and a plan made" - well how long was that going to take, and would they in fact help him once he came back? as if we were going to wait! I sent him to the public school around the corner from my house, and you wouldnt BELIEVE the change in him! He is still a hyper little being, and does make her day more strenuous, but she deals with him in a way that he isnt becoming violent anymore!

He has recently been diagnosed, and is now on Ritalin, which makes him more co-operative, a TINY bit less chatty (LOL), more able to be directed, but his full personality is still there (yey - i love his personality).

I have been giving her hand outs about ADHD and how she can direct him positively in class... not quite sure how she is taking it - i think she's pissed ive put him on ritalin - time will tell how this is going.

My point - do NOT accept their rot! He is a beautiful child, who needs to be directed POSITIVELY. The more they negatively re-inforce his behaviour, the worse he will be for them, and you need to tell them that. They may be frustrated, and he is probably very draining, but you know what, she CHOSE that profession, if she didnt want to deal with challenging kids (and there will ALWAYS be at LEAST one in each class - my sons current teacher has FIVE in hers) - she should have become something else!

and DONT let them paddle for goodness sake!!! oh my dear lord i cant believe they allow that! That is BOUND to bring out a side of him you really dont want to see!

Paddled? I'll give them a paddle...Number one- no school, I don't care where you live- should be paddling a child. Number 2- kids will be kids and if that teacher can't handle her job, then she should NOT be working with such young children and that would be my point of discussion anytime those know it all teachers try to voice their opinions on hyper children. You'll be suprised how bad the teacher will then look- come on now- isn't she just a little too old to be playing such immature behavior as to talking behind ones back! Hmm- sorry guys- a bit of a sore subject for me- I've been dealing with too much crap from these schools until I finally got the paper saying my daughter has ADHD- they are now working with her very nicely- she is in a private school- though they are Catholics- they DO NOT PADDLE THEIR CHILDREN!!!

This is what my child's school handbook says about corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is authourized as a disciplinary tool but only reasonalb corporal punishment is justifiable. Reasonable is hereby defined as waht a majority of normal, sane, clean rhinkling people would do under similar circumstances. Considerations, in this regard, shall include but not be limited to (1) age of child (2) size of child (3) sex of child (4) ability of child to bear the punishment, and (5) ovrall physical conditon of the child. Corporal punishment shall not be administered in ager or with malice at any time. No more than 3 swats at one infraction or in any one day. May only be administered by a wooden paddle which is moothly sanded and has no crack or holes. Or may be spanked with opened hand. They do have a paper to sign if you won't allow your child to be paddled. We have not allowed it but it still has been suggested numerous times.

Sorry about the type errors

I thought corporal punishment was illegal. Do you send your child to a private school?

I'm a teacher myself. I'm of the opinion that any teacher/school that has to resort to corporal punishment has failed miserably in their attempts to understand the child and the child's behavior.

You might ask what kind of inservice professional training is being provided for the teachers of your school... and not just for discipline but also for understanding and managing the behavior of children on the spectrum.

Said "spectrum" but meant ADD/ADHD. In either case paddling is not going to change the neurological structure of the child. I'm shocked that this is still being inflicted on children!

1st of all he is in Kindergarten how much trouble can he get into?!! I would show up at the school at different times to see how things are going, or go spend a whole day as an observer.