I'm a single parent, but even when I was married I was basically single. When I started dating, I think it was way to soon and my son eventually had a really hard time with it. The guy I was dating was not in the least bit understanding of the struggles I have with him and ADHD. Eventually I got the same old guilt trip of my son's problems being attributed to my bad parenting and not being tough enough on him. He wound up breaking up with me because he couldn't handle the way my son acted and treated me. This was the first relationship I had since my ex-husband and was very very hurt over the way it ended. It's a few years later, and after and 8 mon. break from dating I decided to try again. I reconnected with someone I had been interested in when I was still in high school. We are now engaged, and I have so many insecurities about wether he will really be able to deal with my son and the crap he can pull. He has to children and I know if my son starts picking on them or emotionally hurting them, my fiance more likely than not will not be able to handle that. My mother had told me that I just shouldn't date or be involved with anyone until my son is grown and out of the house. I thought perhaps she was right and that I was being very selfish by wanting to have a family and a partner again. But I really want to be happy and in love. This man is one of the best people I have ever met, and he is so good with his children. I feel like such a crappy parent as my house is chaotic compared to his. My son is so emotionally straining for me that I do the wrong thing when it comes to him all the time. I've been dealing with this since he was born, and I lose my temper every day with him. A lot of the time I wonder if he had been born to a more patient and stable parent (as far as rountines) then he wouldn't be like this at all. I do know that when he is not around, I am calm and my household runs smoothly, so I try to tell myself it's not all me and my parenting that caused this problem. I guess I just needed to vent a little and talk about my fears and dreams.
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