I had inpluses that i had acted on (of a sexuall nature)and had came clean to my wife 4 years ago , she has used it agianst me ever since . I am and will countiue to go to teripy and have been in school for three years now . I found that when this summer had come that my wife had finily had enough of me ( even though I'm getting better),she would go out with to bars with the girl friends (drinking buddies ) and would leave me at home to wacth the kids ALL the time . I couldn't take it anymore , there isn't any respect there for me ,I felt I had to go , I did make an honest atempt at talking to her but with no availe . This is having serious afeacts on my personal well being , I'm trying to keep my mind into the school work but am finding it very difficult at times . I also have had thoughts that I would be better off dead or to just run away. I really want to fight the urges to do so by thinking of the kids . She said that she isn;t going to make any major decissions untill a years time ( which is this summer comming up. Dam this sucks , Oh and I diagnosed her as having a narrisit personality, she fits the bill. But then I have to look at my own behavers as well , now that i've had some time away from herI can see that my behavour has been eradic but the change in me didn;t seem to be doing it for her . Since i;ve left I've lost 40 plus pounds and have been walking more . It's just that I get these days where all I want to do is lay down and give up, but the dam ADHD won't let me/
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