ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
We adopted our son from the foster care system when he was 2 years old. He was taken from birth from his birthparents and put into foster care. We were his fourth home by age two. He was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago (he's almost 9 now) and has responded amazingly to Focalin. Without it he can't even function. My problem is this.
1. He is a habitual liar. He lies about everything, small or large. He's very good at it and you cannot tell if he's lying or not. He says things like, "believe me, mommy" and "I'm not lying this time" only to find out after two hours straight of sticking to his story that he is. If we start out the conversation by reminding him of what happens when he lies, (before he has a chance to do it), he will "usually" tell the truth. He understands that he gets into more trouble if he lies. It just doesn't matter. Today he lied to me four times.
2. He sneaks food. This usually happens at night, whether he's hungry or not. He'll get up and find something to eat and "go for it". All we have asked is that he comes and tells us first. In the seven years we've had him, not once has he ever asked for food in the middle of the night. He's eaten things like 30 bite-size candy bars, 20 cough dropes (they tasted like candy), 1/2 a 9 x 13 cake, etc. All we ask is that he tells us first that he's up.
We've tried spanking, time outs, taking away toys, friends, etc. We've even gone so far as putting an alarm on his door. There is no lock. It just lets us know when he gets up. So, instead of opening his door when the alarm was on, he peed all in his room for weeks. Now we've put the alarm on the inside of the pantry door. He now knows to go for the food that isn't in the pantry.
I need help. I'm at the end of my rope. My husband thinks that since he's gotten better on lying at times, that we don't need to seek therapy. I disagree.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to come to resent my son. please.
1. He is a habitual liar. He lies about everything, small or large. He's very good at it and you cannot tell if he's lying or not. He says things like, "believe me, mommy" and "I'm not lying this time" only to find out after two hours straight of sticking to his story that he is. If we start out the conversation by reminding him of what happens when he lies, (before he has a chance to do it), he will "usually" tell the truth. He understands that he gets into more trouble if he lies. It just doesn't matter. Today he lied to me four times.
2. He sneaks food. This usually happens at night, whether he's hungry or not. He'll get up and find something to eat and "go for it". All we have asked is that he comes and tells us first. In the seven years we've had him, not once has he ever asked for food in the middle of the night. He's eaten things like 30 bite-size candy bars, 20 cough dropes (they tasted like candy), 1/2 a 9 x 13 cake, etc. All we ask is that he tells us first that he's up.
We've tried spanking, time outs, taking away toys, friends, etc. We've even gone so far as putting an alarm on his door. There is no lock. It just lets us know when he gets up. So, instead of opening his door when the alarm was on, he peed all in his room for weeks. Now we've put the alarm on the inside of the pantry door. He now knows to go for the food that isn't in the pantry.
I need help. I'm at the end of my rope. My husband thinks that since he's gotten better on lying at times, that we don't need to seek therapy. I disagree.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to come to resent my son. please.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
He is obviously struggling. He may have something else going on too. I would have him re-accessed by a professional.
My son was born oppositional. I have struggled with him for 14 long years. Been in counseling, had him tested, prayed, tried different meds, etc. We just re-started him on CONCERTA, and within two days, he is compliant, more respectful, more socialable with our family, more cooperative, and even smiling again. He is like a different kid! I did start to resent him so badly for a while. I was exhausted with trying to manage him. So I sent him to live with his DAD (my EX) for three years. In May, he asked me if he could come home. I agreed (I missed him terribly). The entire Summer, the same old behavior. I was at my wits end. Then I just decided to put him back on meds. The change in him has been amazing. Now, we can try to help him learn some new behaviors, without the meds it was almost impossible.
Talk to his Doctor...Good Luck!
Without her meds she lies a lot and sneaks food.
I believe they do the bad things because of the lack of self control, then lie about them, to not get into trouble. She knows she will get into trouble, but would rather risk telling the lie. At this point, I talk more about how much more great it is to be an ethical and moral person, than it is to "do whatever we want". We are right now discussing good people in history and their lives and bad people and their lives, because off her meds, she took my IPOD to school without asking, knowing I would have never let her. I concidered this stealing and she wasn't getting out of it that easy. I tried making her more aware of who she was and how she treated me, than putting the focus on how angry I was and that seems to make her think a little more about someone besides herself.
Try as I might the "punishments" never seemed to make a difference. I did spanking. I took things away. I restricted. She never seemed to care. The right milligrams of meds help keep some of the negative compulsions at bay. Our food sneaking comes to a minimum as well. She has been seeing a councelor for a couple of months and as far as I can tell the councelor isn't helpig inspire much change. But I pay more for my daughters disorder now. Pediatrician, meds, councelling :)
I show her love always, even when I am totally pissed at her. She knows no matter what she does, she may dissapoint me, but never loose my love. I want her to think about dissapointing herself more and know the type of person she wants to be.
LOL When the school deputy called me, I got the laundry list of lies my daughter had told her... My comment was, "what she has lacked learning in multiplication she learned in manipulation." never think for a moment they aren't thinking. Once again the right meds help also.