Hi, My name is Tonya, I am a single woman and am 40 years old.
I have been married three times and they have all ended in divorce.
It would be easy to point the finger at someone else and blame them
for the bad outcome of those relationships but I realize that my poor
decisions and compromising my values are what got me in trouble
in those failed relationships any way.
I am a believer, but have not always been obedient to the will of
God and I realize for myself that every time I do things outside of
God's will and go and compromise my beliefs that things do not
turn out the right way so I have made the decision to remain celibate
and if it is meant for me to be in a relationship that things will be done
the right way...Absolutely no sex ouside of marriage.
I must admit sometimes it does get lonely but I'd rather be alone
and allow God help me to heal and work things out, than to settle
and be with someone just because I'm feeling lonely, because feelings
So to anyone out there that gets lonely at times, please remember
that you deserve the very best, not half measures or mere crumbs of what
someone else is willing to give you.
Love is spiritual first and if the spiritual core of a realtionship is not
strong the foundation does not have true substance to make it last.
Sex is great withing marriage but sex alone can not make you happy,
can not fill the voids of emptiness. Sex provides a temporary release
and high that does not last forever. And when it's over you still have
to deal with yourself and the issues you have to face..whatever they
I have my struggles but I'm taking it one day at a time knowing that
the commitment that I have made to myself and God is more important
that what anyone may think about me, and that it is healthy to have expectations,
because if you don't you will fall and settle for anything, and anything is not
Remember no matter how tempting it may get to stray: That you deserve the best,
Anything worth having is also worth waiting for and you desereve wholesome unconditional
love, not half measures.
I have been celibate for three months and don't regret it. The only thing I wish is that I had
been celibate sooner. In the mean time I'm focusing on bettering myself, my finances, credit and
am going to do some of the things I want to do, such as travel, listen to music, go to restaurants
and museums that I've never been to before.
Does that take away the loneliness at all times? Nah, but I realize I'm not desperate to just be
with anyone and at the beginning and end of the day I'd rather have peace in my life
than a headache by being with someone that does not belong in my life the right way.
God bless you and and I pray continued blessings on your path to celibacy.
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