I am a married man, for 9 years, to a Norwegian sister I met in my church. She was sexually abused by her grandfather repeatedly starting at age 7, and it has created some distressing problems in our marriage. Mainly because of the abuse, we haven't really had a healthy, normal sexual relationship for the whole time we've been married. I've gained some understanding about what she's been through, but it makes things really hard for me. I gave up trying to talk to her about it because she will just shut down and push it back on me. She says she's not bothered by the memories of the abuse if it's not discussed, and she has told me bluntly to give up on asking her for anything related to sex or intimacy. Yet we share a bed. I try my best to understand, but it's just not fair. I go through feelings of anger, and guilt, and discouragement because I just don't know what to do. Lately it seems like I am losing my attraction to her, and being on the road, adultery is very tempting. I feel guilty about sexual fantasies I have about other women because it's sin. Anyone understand? I don't want to divorce her, and I don't want to sin against God by committing adultery. Is it wrong for me to want to have a sexual relationship with the woman I married? Anyone going through this like me? I'm ready to talk.
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