Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group
The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.
Hi. I'm a 21 year old who has been single for about a year. I haven't had sex since last December and although it doesn't kill me I'm still wondering why has it been so hard for me to find someone to be with. I really haven't had a real girlfriend since I was about 18 and the breakup was really hard on me. All of my sexual encounters have been flings since then and I'm starting to wonder, what is wrong with me. People at work wonder why I don't have a girlfriend. The picture in the profile is me, as you can see, I'm not too bad looking. People tell me it will happen when I'm not looking, but I don't know how that works, when I'm thinking about it all the time. I look at pron about a few times a week and that cools me off, but I don't understand why I can't seem to find anyone in my life.
These are the reasons why I think that I haven't been able to find anyone: 1. I was in AA for a while and they suggested that I don't have any relationships for a year, which I adhered to.
2. I have bipolar disorder and I have had to be hospitalized this summer after getting into a fight with my dad over money and other stupid things.
3. I have gotten into prayer in religion and have been reflecting on my life and have started to feel that some of those relationships that I had, even for a few weeks, were bad for my spirit and that I could do better without it.
4. I have been at home for most of the time, working at night at a pizza delivery place and haven't had the chance to meet anyone new.
5. Being single helps me realize my full potential and doesn't fill me with problems that come with a relationship, and I have become used to that.
6. I have tried online dating services, but they just don't work.
7. I want to be in a fulfilling relationship that will lead to marriage someday and I have been noticing that my strategies of just sleeping with the person have not worked at all to fill this desire and have given myself time to develop new ways of approaching a relationship.
8. I know that staying single will help me with my grades and that I will be able to do more with my time as a single guy.
I just feel like I'm wasting a good guy for someone to have... I just don't know how to find someone to love me.
These are the reasons why I think that I haven't been able to find anyone: 1. I was in AA for a while and they suggested that I don't have any relationships for a year, which I adhered to.
2. I have bipolar disorder and I have had to be hospitalized this summer after getting into a fight with my dad over money and other stupid things.
3. I have gotten into prayer in religion and have been reflecting on my life and have started to feel that some of those relationships that I had, even for a few weeks, were bad for my spirit and that I could do better without it.
4. I have been at home for most of the time, working at night at a pizza delivery place and haven't had the chance to meet anyone new.
5. Being single helps me realize my full potential and doesn't fill me with problems that come with a relationship, and I have become used to that.
6. I have tried online dating services, but they just don't work.
7. I want to be in a fulfilling relationship that will lead to marriage someday and I have been noticing that my strategies of just sleeping with the person have not worked at all to fill this desire and have given myself time to develop new ways of approaching a relationship.
8. I know that staying single will help me with my grades and that I will be able to do more with my time as a single guy.
I just feel like I'm wasting a good guy for someone to have... I just don't know how to find someone to love me.
-
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
-
I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Have faith! The time for you will come.
I'm 22 and haven't dated in about two years. Most of my relationships were based on physicality, and not actually getting to know eachother.
Most people when dating just regurgitate their "stories" and expect that to be intimacy. But it's not. *sorry for the mini rant*
I think it's important to look at why you want to date as the first step.
If you want to date because you honestly want to find someone to share your life with (as the end result), then go for it. Sometimes we have to make these things happen a bit. But I honestly believe that God makes it possible for us to do the things we want (don't misconstrue this) because when we are happy He is happy.
And your last line "I don't know how to find someone to love me", it may sound cliche but you can't find love outside yourself until you find love inside yourself. You've got to be stable inside before you can be strong enough to have something happen around you.
Personally, once this started to happen for me I started being asked on dates. For some reason they coincided. Now, I'm not exclusively seeing someone, but I have gotten back in the ring again.
I've been single for 5 years now and it's been interesting to say the least. I felt like I was attracting freaks for a while and then I just chilled in single life and I was ok. I think you just need to be ok with being single and have faith that your woman is out there :)
I think it is a great thing that you would rather have a meaningful relationship than a fling. The problem is 99% of the population would rather not get that involved (or at least that's the way I see it). It is frustrating.
1. Most people are only interested in having sex with you and not what your last name is.
2. Most people will not get in to a romantic relationship if it involes not having sex with the person.
3. Most people are not happy with themselves so they look for someone to make them happy. Not going to work because our partner cannot give us self-esteem.
4. Being single is hard because it is lonely. There is nothing a friend can do with us that can cure our loneliness that a partner can because the two are very different.
With out be blabbing LOL, I can say to you that you have to hang in there and just try to choose someone with the same morals and values you have because then there is a common denominator and that will help bring the two of you together. Don't look to hard in the wrong places - clubs, bars, etc...lol. And in my experience, I never had a real boyfriend- just 2 guys I got to know for 3 months and the other for 2 weeks. I didn't like them, I just wanted to make out. So I am happy I never had sex with them because we all were not compatible or were together long. So when my friends come to me with their problems regarding relationships (or what they think is a relationship) I listen and decide that I want to be single: (1) because I was never crazy about anyone (except for Alex Rodriguez LOL) and (2)It is very easy to be hurt physically, mentally, and emotionally. So, enjoy single stress free life and deal with the loneliness.