I wonder if anyone in here knows about love addiction. I never knew it existed until I started reading self help books. Ive been suffering terribly, mostly grieving over a lost romantic friendship. I have been practicing celibacy for over 20 years. I thought it was a mature decision. I never thought I would marry. But I was going to give it all up for this girl I fell for at work. She became the subject of every love song in my mind. I saw her as an epiphany in my lonely life. I thought it was magic that she brought me away from my self imposed prison. But I was slow on the take when she wanted to have sex. Celibates dont carry condoms! She became frustrated that I wouldnt sleep with her I think. She told me I need to be more spontaneous. Then she went from hot to cold overnight. She became secretly enraged towards me. Then out of the blue, she complained to my employers. The only reason I was not fired was that she never told me that she had changed her mind about us It was the most embarrassing betrayal of my life. All my (spotless) laundry was dragged out into the light. She even goes around openly talking about personal stuff I told her Yet, even after all that, I am having a very difficult time letting this girl go. She is now openly flirting with one of my other friends. He tells me hes not attracted to her, but how can he resist such overt sexual interest from this amazing beautiful woman? Then one day I caught her in a lie I did not tell her that I knew she lied. Regardless, I think they hooked up. Now we have this twisted love triangle going on and Im the bad guy. I am the creep It sounds romantic to be so in love with someone, but it is actually scary for me. The idea that I may have deeper psychological issues going on troubles me a great deal. In fact, I feel on the verge of panic because my whole self image as a celibate has turned around now. Was my choice to remain celibate a virtue, or was I simply giving in to my fears of intimacy and abandonment. I wonder if my whole life is a lie at this point. What have I lost? Who am I?
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