hi my name is mel, i wish i cud accept im an alcoholic, tonite i havent had a drinki thinking thats it i havent a problem but wen i do drink everything is such a mess, ive had so many wake up calls to break free from drink but to no avail??? deep down a big part of me really needs to stop drinknig but iv being answering or trying to asking myself am i doing this for myself or for my mum and dad, u c they aint alocohlics, they dont understand wats it like , right now im dying inside theres a bottle of whiskey in the cupboard and i so badly want it, but i just can do it in front of my mum , coz i promised them i wouldnt drink again, but that will be gone very soon if im not careful, part of me wants to change part of me is jus sick n tired of being sick and tired but the other part of me has just giving up trying to even stop for myself anymore, im in this black hole that im sinking lower into it, even tho im not drunk im emotionally drunk, and i believe thats worse, i just come outta jail wasnt that enough for me to open my eyes to wat drink was doing to me, but nope, i went to that off licence straight away, how can i continue in aa if i just dont know wat i want anymore, im so stuck
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