aa Spoken Here Community Group
Fellowship Where you can share your thoughts, feelings, stories and get support to gain and continue sobriety.
There has been discussions both here and on other boards on Rock Bottoms, so I thought I would share my experience on the subject with you.
In 1985 I lost a business, a marriage and 2.5 acres with a home and a huge shop on it. I was Drinking heavily and using drugs like my life was going to end that day.
I ended up in a dog kennel as a care taker for $200 a month and a room to sleep in. literally scoping dog crap and feeding sick animals, just all kinds of fun stuff.
One night after being sick of it all I took a handful of Valium and drank lots of whiskey in hopes of putting me out of my misery. When I passed out someone called the medics and I was whisked away to the hospital. Again other fun things went on like stomach pumping. I was not allowed to leave unless someone came to pick me up.
My best friend at the time did just that and the following day his wife took me to the VA hospital in Seattle, Wa. where I was interviewed. The gentleman asked my to sign a piece of paper which I did and then asked what I had signed. He informed me that I had just checked myself in. There I was taken to the psyciatric ward where I stayed for 30 days.
In that time they decided that I wasn't crazy, but had a drug and alcohol problem..............................Ya Think?
After the psyc ward I went down one floor to the drug and alchol treatment center for another 30 days. Then to a sobriety house where I stayed for 6 months and continued out patient treatment.
However since I am an alcoholic and did not continue pursueing treatment or recovery after a short time I convinced myself that my problem was the drugs, not the alcohol................................you guessed it I was off and running in my drinking carrier yet again.
We jump a head to Aug 7, 1999 when on my way home from the bar I was stopped by a local police officer in my town and informed that I was intoxicated well beyond the legal limit and had broken the law in driving my vehicle.
Upon seeing the judge, he decided that I needed to be assesed and for the first time in my life I was honest with someone about my drinking. I was put in a two year program, which I had every intention of doin, then I would be off to the races again( My Thinking, sick as it was)
Side note here is that at the time I got my DUI I had a home, a Family, Two cars in the garage and a great job.
I was required to go to at least 2 AA meetings a week and about 3 months into it I was at a meeting and a gal who had 20 years at the time said she was having trouble with acceptance. I had just read page 449 (in the third edition, in the fourth edition it is page 417) and got out the Big Book and shared it with her. I left that meeting feeling like maybe this stuff really works.
In working the 12 steps with someone that has worked them the way they are discribed in the Big Book of AA, my obsession to drink was removed.
In working the 12 steps many say that you have a spiritual awakening, others say that you have a personality change ( Big Book fourth edition page 567, Spiritual Experience).
This is my experience and I don't care if you work the program of AA or another program, but find something that works for you and do whatever it takes to stay sober for just today. Tomorrow is another day, face it when it gets here!
Back to hitting rock bottoms. You would have thought that in 1985 I would have hit my rock bottom. It was however in 1999 that the fear of losing everything and seeing that a program just might work for me to allow myself to get honest with myself! Honesty was the key for me, to admit that I couldn't do it on my own. That I needed the help of other alcoholics. Watch them and find the sobriety that I wanted then approach that person and ask a simple question. Could you please show me how you got your sobriety?
That was ove 11 years ago and today I can't even imagine having alcohol back in my life. I am not concerned about going to hell when I die as I have already been there. I spent the first 44 years of my life in Hell.
For those that think there is no higher Power in their lives, what is alcohol? Is it not in control of your life? It certainly was in control in my life till Aug. 14, 1999. You see I had to go have one more drunk before I went to see the judge, pretty insane thinking wasn't it?
God Bless my Friends, Michael still TruckinSober
In 1985 I lost a business, a marriage and 2.5 acres with a home and a huge shop on it. I was Drinking heavily and using drugs like my life was going to end that day.
I ended up in a dog kennel as a care taker for $200 a month and a room to sleep in. literally scoping dog crap and feeding sick animals, just all kinds of fun stuff.
One night after being sick of it all I took a handful of Valium and drank lots of whiskey in hopes of putting me out of my misery. When I passed out someone called the medics and I was whisked away to the hospital. Again other fun things went on like stomach pumping. I was not allowed to leave unless someone came to pick me up.
My best friend at the time did just that and the following day his wife took me to the VA hospital in Seattle, Wa. where I was interviewed. The gentleman asked my to sign a piece of paper which I did and then asked what I had signed. He informed me that I had just checked myself in. There I was taken to the psyciatric ward where I stayed for 30 days.
In that time they decided that I wasn't crazy, but had a drug and alcohol problem..............................Ya Think?
After the psyc ward I went down one floor to the drug and alchol treatment center for another 30 days. Then to a sobriety house where I stayed for 6 months and continued out patient treatment.
However since I am an alcoholic and did not continue pursueing treatment or recovery after a short time I convinced myself that my problem was the drugs, not the alcohol................................you guessed it I was off and running in my drinking carrier yet again.
We jump a head to Aug 7, 1999 when on my way home from the bar I was stopped by a local police officer in my town and informed that I was intoxicated well beyond the legal limit and had broken the law in driving my vehicle.
Upon seeing the judge, he decided that I needed to be assesed and for the first time in my life I was honest with someone about my drinking. I was put in a two year program, which I had every intention of doin, then I would be off to the races again( My Thinking, sick as it was)
Side note here is that at the time I got my DUI I had a home, a Family, Two cars in the garage and a great job.
I was required to go to at least 2 AA meetings a week and about 3 months into it I was at a meeting and a gal who had 20 years at the time said she was having trouble with acceptance. I had just read page 449 (in the third edition, in the fourth edition it is page 417) and got out the Big Book and shared it with her. I left that meeting feeling like maybe this stuff really works.
In working the 12 steps with someone that has worked them the way they are discribed in the Big Book of AA, my obsession to drink was removed.
In working the 12 steps many say that you have a spiritual awakening, others say that you have a personality change ( Big Book fourth edition page 567, Spiritual Experience).
This is my experience and I don't care if you work the program of AA or another program, but find something that works for you and do whatever it takes to stay sober for just today. Tomorrow is another day, face it when it gets here!
Back to hitting rock bottoms. You would have thought that in 1985 I would have hit my rock bottom. It was however in 1999 that the fear of losing everything and seeing that a program just might work for me to allow myself to get honest with myself! Honesty was the key for me, to admit that I couldn't do it on my own. That I needed the help of other alcoholics. Watch them and find the sobriety that I wanted then approach that person and ask a simple question. Could you please show me how you got your sobriety?
That was ove 11 years ago and today I can't even imagine having alcohol back in my life. I am not concerned about going to hell when I die as I have already been there. I spent the first 44 years of my life in Hell.
For those that think there is no higher Power in their lives, what is alcohol? Is it not in control of your life? It certainly was in control in my life till Aug. 14, 1999. You see I had to go have one more drunk before I went to see the judge, pretty insane thinking wasn't it?
God Bless my Friends, Michael still TruckinSober
I do not believe that a person needs to get to the point where they are sitting on a park bench in a dirty overcoat drinking metho concealed in a paper bag to reach rock bottom. For me that is why it is important that it is your rock bottom not mine or TS's but yours and if you are able to get off the train long before the crash that is brilliant.
Also I am with TS on the whatever works for you do it. The qualifier here is do it not bits and pieces, the easy stuff but the whole program.
As my sponsor said to me "if you want what I've got, you have to do what I did"
When I first got sober I thought how boring is my life going to be without alcohol, today I think; I can not imagine my life is that boring I need alcohol.
G8