
aa Spoken Here Community Group
Fellowship Where you can share your thoughts, feelings, stories and get support to gain and continue sobriety.

deleted_user
I am an alcoholic and had 15 months of good sobriety. I screwed up and drank in December. Since then, I feel like a complete failure, and keep telling myself, "f*ck it, u already screwed up, it's no use!" I have kept drinking occasionally since then, but I want that happiness back that I had in sobriety. Has anyone ever relapsed, and got sober again? How did you pick yourself back up and start over again?
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Don't sweat it. Get back to meetings, get a sponsor, and work the steps! Don't do what you did before. You will get drunk again.
The happiness you seek will come. Work the steps.
Guru
You don't mention a sponsor so either talk to her, or, if you haven't got one, you need to get one fast. Meetings will not keep you sober, you can do 90 in 90, you can do 120 in 120 but none of those meetings will keep you sober if you do not engage with and complete the 12 step programme of ACTION.
PM me if you think I can help.
Lyn "
I know you can do it~ Hang in there and Get to a meeting ~ If you need to talk or even vent send me a message ~ We are all in this together because we have all been there. Take care and God Bless~ Roe ~
The biggest stumbling block for me was believing that I was the one that had to keep myself sober. I had no idea that part of this illness, indeed the crux of this illness, was the utter inability to leave booze alone off my own power.
When the idea that God was keeping alkies sober was introduced to me it baffled me. I really could not see how that could possibly be true, much less be a reality in many people's lives. I clung onto the idea that I had to regroup my efforts, muster my forces and really attack this illness head on.
The alcoholic mind is a tricky business though. It's a bit like a mafia killing, you walk into the situation with the best and most trusted friends in the world, familiar surroundings, sweet promises, a kiss on the cheek and BANG! you are a gonna. The worst enemy is the familiar one that comes with a friendly smile on its face whispering words of reassurance.
The fact for me was this - there were absolutely certain moment (not all the time) that I was unable to see past the idea that a drink looked like a good idea - no matter what had befallen me in the past, no matter how terrible my experiences. Once I conceded that fact to myself, I was able to completely put my life into the hands of a loving forgiving God - I had no choice.
Relapse was a wonderful aid for me in my recovery, I am blessed to have experienced them.
1) Were you hanging onto any lurking notions regarding alcohol? Had it really defeated you inside?
2) How honest were you with yourself in the AA programme?
3) Did old ideas creep back in?
4) Were you being diligent about steps 10, 11 and especially 12 (were you carrying the message to alkies outside the fellowship and were you sponsoring inside?).
5) Did you hold onto something during the steps?
6) How was your willingness in step 9?
Just some things to ponder. Forgive yourself and get right back into action. perhaps this defeated feeling you are having is a blessing in disguise.
Are you doing this on your own? I cant - We Can... Godbless..
Guru