I was just reading some posts about how confident people feel about their ability to never turn to alcohol again. I came to AA in January of 2008. After a few hits and misses, I got sober June 29, 2008. I also went through a residential treatment program, and see an addictions counselor regularly. I was one of those people who not only bought the program of AA, I embraced it! I got a great sponsor, and worked the steps very hard. I built up a huge support system of "AA people". I started with meeting 7 days a week, and was down to 3 metting a week, NEVER less. As busy as life got, I never lapsed in my communication with my AA friends. I was so desperate for recovery, if they had told me to stand on my head in a corner for the entire meeting I would have done it! I posted this part on the main alcoholism board, but not here. June 29, 2009, my partner died of a sudden massive heart attck. In shock, within hours, I picked up the bottle. No thought involved. I've always heard their are NO slips, they are always premeditated, but this was no the case with me, AT ALL! An hour before this happened to me, I would have swore I was in no danger of drinking, because I was taking care of my spiritual condidtion, then BAM! A year, and instinct kicked in. I'm trying desperately to figure out where I went wrong, because let's face it, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Any ideas?
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