I was just reading some posts about how confident people feel about their ability to never turn to alcohol again. I came to AA in January of 2008. After a few hits and misses, I got sober June 29, 2008. I also went through a residential treatment program, and see an addictions counselor regularly. I was one of those people who not only bought the program of AA, I embraced it! I got a great sponsor, and worked the steps very hard. I built up a huge support system of "AA people". I started with meeting 7 days a week, and was down to 3 metting a week, NEVER less. As busy as life got, I never lapsed in my communication with my AA friends. I was so desperate for recovery, if they had told me to stand on my head in a corner for the entire meeting I would have done it! I posted this part on the main alcoholism board, but not here. June 29, 2009, my partner died of a sudden massive heart attck. In shock, within hours, I picked up the bottle. No thought involved. I've always heard their are NO slips, they are always premeditated, but this was no the case with me, AT ALL! An hour before this happened to me, I would have swore I was in no danger of drinking, because I was taking care of my spiritual condidtion, then BAM! A year, and instinct kicked in. I'm trying desperately to figure out where I went wrong, because let's face it, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Any ideas?
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...