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karils 
Today is chilly in Minnesota, but sunny. A perfect autumn day once it warms up 10 degrees! I am feeling a little on the lighter side today, not so serious or moody. Sierra and I went to my daughter Nikki's house for dinner last night. John met us there and we had a nice time. Nikki and I have lost so much time as mother and daughter having had an improper diagnosis for so long. But the beautiful part is we still make the time now. I guess there are quite a few things I have done or am doing that are right for my children, regardless of my roadblocks or pitfalls. Negativity has no place in my life, but yet I keep going "there" the second I am feeling vulnerable.
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Feeling good again - finally!!!!! Spent about 6 days in a rotten funk. Paranoia. I don't get that way very often, but I hate it more than depression. Have had a lot going on at home and I think the added stress is what brought on the paranoia. When I feel paranoid I stay away from all of the things that help me feel better because I am "afraid" of them. I feel so ridiculous being afraid of literally everything. I am a grown woman, who parents a 3 yr old. How am I ever going to teach her how to live healthy if I am a goof-ball role model?!
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Hi Kari, For one thing you are not a goof-ball and you need to stop labeling and calling yourself names. Your 3 yr old will do just fine as long as there is no abuse going on. My kids have grown to understand when I am not fully functioning that I can sometimes lose it and have to be alone for a while. I also have encouragement that my life has begun to be a huge learning experience and I am becoming a better whole person that I wasn't even close to before. As far as motherhood you will do great. We all have trial and error as parents and that is how our children learn what is right and wrong in life. My suggestion, and I am this way with my kids, is that I don't hide any secrets about the bipolar or how I feel. Kids are smart and catch on eventually anyway. So be as open with your 3 yr old as much as possible with his/her level of comprehension. I leave my kids no surprises, they even want to know what will be happening ahead of time, like when we go places. Sorry to go on, this is my motherly instinct coming out and hope it will help. You are precious to your child as well as myself. I am glad you are out of the funk and on your way once again. Keep strong and keep your head up. Luv, Elaine
Feel pretty OK now. Got a lot done, a little at a time today, now I am pooped! The electrical storm in my insides subsided after "Dalyla" (my flip side :)) had a mini fit in the car by herself this morning. Dalyla went back to her corner pretty nicely today. It could have gone either way. Taking some good advice to take my meds same time every day, is helping to reduce the extremes of my swings. Think I am napping w/ SiSi today, no sense in being tired if I don't have to be.
Past Entries
| September 2007 |
Saturday, 9/01
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August 2007 |
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Thursday, 8/30
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Tuesday, 8/28
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Monday, 8/27
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Sunday, 8/26
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Keep doing what you are doing - keep on trucking and smiling. LOL Blue :-)
blue123