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itsmestacy 
11:38am, November 9, 2008
"Sigh" What a day. I woke up twice in the middle of the night with anxiety attacks. I had another one on the way to work, and then at work I went through a cloud of depression. I was supposed to go to a class afterwork but couldn't. I was lucky to make it through the day at work. I just feel like I'm "alive" but not living. I never think about suicide but often wonder why I'm still here because life is hard. Then I think about the people that have it worse. I don't think about suicide but have the fear that my meds will cause me to think about suicide. LOL. Does that make sense. Anyway, I want to live to have a family of my own, and grow old with my boyfriend James. I came home, Got a binder out from a cognitive therapy class I took a little over a year ago...and I"m going to relearn how to think positively again. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight :)
Comments
that makes perfect sense - it's called circular reasoning. It can over take your sense of well being and lead to anxiety and depression - you can over come it:)
RicoA
You are so very strong.I cannot believe that you work.As much as I want to return to work and be normal I am just too anx in the morning after constantly waking up early then I get depressed and suicidal.You truly are a tower.I too feel like am alive but not living.You are not alone xx
iyrna