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AngelEyezz 
8:19am, October 7, 2009
Havent written a journal in a while.
I am feeling less stressed today, so just see what flows ..... ??
I have had a financial worry hanging over me since June. My money has been stopped, which I normally received because I was unfit for work. I am entitled to this, as I worked for 25 years and paid insurance to the Government to cover me if I became unfit for work.
The UK Government have been cutting everyone off Sickness Benefit unless they have less than six months to live, or have a life threatening illness.
I have worried myself sick since June, but have coped well with much less money coming in. I can do it for so long with the savings we have, but I cant continue, even when I have cut every corner I can.
I have appealed against their decision, but although my doctor is 100% behind me, he has no say in the matter, apart from being able to supply a backup letter of my health conditions, which is apparantly not even looked at??
It would seem that even those who are on crutches and in wheelchairs are deemed to be able to work, so anyone mentally or physically ill, will be put down as "fit for work".
My appeal will not be until mid October, because of the amount of people being cut off, so that will be another 2 months of waiting to see what happens next, as I just have no idea. All that was suggested was that I could sign on as fit for work and receive some money that way.
This whole scenario has completely made me worry so much about being sent for a job, as most days I can barely get out of the front door, so how can I get through this??
I was devistated when I had to give up my job due to my illness, it left me feeling worse than ever, and would deeply wish to return to work, but even the thought makes me panick so much, as I find it hard to cope with people, any pressure or concentrate, and am continually exhausted, with my meds which keep me calm.
However, life goes on:)
I will just have to wait to see what October brings, and think POSITIVE, keep my chin up and take one day at a time.
Beth xx
Comments
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Have been feeling rather "numb" this few weeks. Just existing and getting through the days. I am just so exhausted with my head going round and round constantly.
I know what is causing it though ... I have been deemed as able to work by a company employed by the NHS.
As the NHS have no money, they are doing this to everyone in the UK who is on Sickness Benefit, unless they have a life threatening illness..... my doctor has informed me of this.
We now have £100 per week less money coming in to our household, and it is just blowing my anxiety throw the roof!! I am lucky enough to have no debt, but cant see us coping for too long, as we are using our savings to get by.
I have "drawn my belt in" on spending money, til I cant breath, so nothing else can be done in the meantime, and have been trying my best to STOP MYSELF FROM THINKING the worst case scenario. My head is just blowing things out of proportion, but am TRYING SO HARD TO BLOCK THIS !!
I have appealled again their decision, and my doctor said he will back me up, saying I have tried for years to fight my anxieties and depression, so have him on my side. I have had to up my meds to cope with the anxiety, but all they are doing is making me feel so tired.
There is nothing I would love more than to be able to go back to work, I was DEVESTATED when I had to give up my Secretary's job of 21 years, it lost me my identity and confidence, and my self esteem went rock bottom.
It has taken me 15 years of educating myself how to deal with my conditions, and now, this is just going to push me back to square one again, and all my hard work has just gone down the drain.
When these things happen, you just wonder why!! I know we all have things happen, and I know it could be worse, and have also thought, it may make me more aware of what I do with my money, and just not take too much for granted.
I have wanted to write this for weeks, but just couldn't. until today. I am calm, and didnt want to write this when I was angry, as I have done in my private entries. So will look back at this shortly, and see what has come out of this mixed up head of mine.
Remember Beth ... dont let your mind blow things out of proportion ... dont allow this to happen, as you know it will just rule your thoughts and you will become paranoid.
Well, you did it .... you vented, but not in anger, but sensibly.
Beth xx
Comments
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First, thank you for the hug today. It is the special people that can reach out when they are needing themselves to share with a stranger. May your situation change for the better quickly and know that even when things are tough; tought times don't last,tough people (and good people may I add) do....
Your friend
Phil
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hi my precious true angel friend,
you have alway's been there for me and alot other's.
somehow in my mind i had a feeling about you for a
short while.
i know you don't like to vent out loud,but sometimes
it's good to.as i'm glad you have this time.i can
understand what you feel like and i'm proud of you,
that you could control this until a good day.i must
say i'm not alway's so strong myself.i use to be,but
thing's get in your way as it has for you.
keep apealing this.it's so great you have the dr.on
your side and know's your history.if you have any
other dr's that my help your situation ask them.by
having your med's upped should tell them something.
i don't think it's fair to have to go into your
life saving's and they should know that too.
i'm afraid i'm not sure how thing's work in the uk.i
just hope it work's out for you.
listen to you want me to get my penquin's out after
them.lol please let me know how it work's out i'm
here for you.in fact you will have to read my new
journal.lol
hug's to an angel,dianey xx oo
-
Thanks so much Phil and Diane for your kind comments.
These words mean so much to me, as I find it near impossible to let people know I have problems of any kind.
I did want to wait til I was composed, which I am glad I was able to do. It is not in my nature to be an angry person, but I AM angry about this situation.
Much Love
Beth xxxxxxxxx
Past Entries
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Sunday, 5/31
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April 2009 |
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March 2009 |
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Thursday, 3/26
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February 2009 |
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Wednesday, 2/18
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Tuesday, 2/10
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Friday, 2/06
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January 2009 |
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Thursday, 1/29
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Friday, 1/09
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Thursday, 1/08
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Monday, 1/05
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Sunday, 1/04
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December 2008 |
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Friday, 12/19
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Monday, 12/08
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November 2008 |
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October 2008 |
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Thursday, 10/23
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Wednesday, 10/15
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Sunday, 10/12
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September 2008 |
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Sunday, 9/07
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August 2008 |
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Tuesday, 8/12
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Tuesday, 8/12
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July 2008 |
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Wednesday, 7/30
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Goal Updated
O my Beth! What a nightmare!
I am on disability benfits as you know and have not heard of this!
I can understrand your anxiety and struggle with this. it will not help yr existing problems with this added to it as well!
I truly don't understand what they are thinking! Having a supportive dr is wonderful, I cant understand why they dont listen to them! O sweetie. I'm so sorry you are going through this!
What do they expect you to do? Just recover 'cause they say to? OMG it makes me so mad!
I have recently had a DLA review (which i dread) and they have lowered my money again. Ultimately though I don't really care about the money, its just having the pressure taken off me to work that is important.
Anyone that thinks living on benefits is easy should try it! Its horrible!
Sweetie I wish I had some advice for you. All I can think off is getting in touch with Citizens Advice, or a local benefits lawyer. I have used both in the past and they have been helpful.
Am here for you anytime hun.....XX
Anastacia
Please know that I am behind you 100% and am trying to keep in mind things you can do from home. Keep a look out at the ads in the paper for something you might be able to do from home too. Whatever it takes to keep you home and functioning. Too bad you can't do bookkeeping for a doctor's office. Always thinking of you ... Pattye
angelczech
oh my lil angel,
i'm sorry i've been mia for a little.i think about
you and this subject all the time.i know i mentioned
it to you before that your emotional problem's can
be just as bad.sometimes worse.i know you're not going to give up,because you're a fighter.someday's you have to put it in the back of your head.give yourself permission that it's alright.
tell me are there any other way's of appealing? i'm so glad another dr.is behind you.that mean's alot.the
more the better honey bunny.
anatascia sound's like she gave some good advice.i
don't know how the system work's there. has your hubby tried to help you out and give some support?
not his "stocking's"just his support.lol i know you
know me so well.even tho we know something's are not
funny,you have to do whatever you can to get thru it.
one day at a time,sometimes one hour at a time.please
just do whatever you can do to help get thru it.i say
that,because like me and i know you are this way too
we are just glued together.even if it stretches out
at times.we bounce back.i wuv ya and i'm sorry i didn't intervene earlier.you are close to my heart.
load's of wuv and a big kiss too.
dianey
p.s.did you feel that hug i sent it right to ya.xx oo
momf333
Hi my dearest friends. Ana, Pattye and Diane
I appreciate your concerned comments, you will never know how much they mean to me today!!!
It is now October 2nd and it was June 19th my money got stopped. We are getting there financially, but my "worry box" is completely full and worn out.
It is now showing in my health, big time, especially this week.
However, I have rested and will continue to muddle through, like I always manage to do, but finding it VERY HARD to have positivity and motivation for basically anything.
I LOVE YOU ALL TO BITS ..... THANKS FOR CARING, AND I MEAN THIS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.
Remember I am ALWAYS here for you.
Your friend Beth xxxxxxxxxxxx
AngelEyezz
woo woo,
look at those angel's boob's.i'm nut's.you never
have to thank me.after all you do for me.well now
that i got another dancin penquin we can learn some
step's.
i'm putting a hole in that worry box.let some fresh
air in,but that doesn't mean i want more back in.you
can give some to me.
we've been in financial situation's simular to this
and i just kept lowering finances wherever i could.
just until thing's got better.i'm being optomistic
for you,cause you're my good buddy.i won't let ya
forget it either.
with all the angel's that flock around you someone
is watching out for you up there.so hang in there the
best you can through this rough patch.
you're stuck with me anyway,dianey
momf333