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mnmjenn 
I'm avoiding the day. I have things I need to do here at home and groceries to get, but I'd like to just veg. Today is 3 years since mom died. My sister, dad, and I were there when she passed away. There was nothing pretty about it. The only comfort was that she was now with her Lord. I have been so lonely for her.
I had a major pull session last night. I pull to comfort. I pull to forget. I pull to deflect. I pull so I don't have to face pain or fear. Worst of all, I pull so that I don't have to face God. I am Eve running to hide in the garden when she hears the Lord's footsteps. How is that for a pastor's daughter, a pastor's wife? I need for all that great well of head-knowledge of the Truth to be sunk down into heart-KNOWING. My one true basic need is to trust that God loves me despite my mistakes and will take care of me no matter the circumstances, and that He will not be angry with me.
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I pray for your lonliness for your mother. God Bless and may peace fill your heart
Temgirl
Father God, I come to you for my new friend. You see the lonliness that she is feeling in her heart about her mother, may she be able to have the peace in her mind and spirit. Father, in her mind she feels she needs to pull to get the comfort that she needs, that she feels she need to hide it from you, may she be able to recognize that she doesn't need to hide, but to run to you. THat you will give her the comfort she seeks, that you will give to her the strength she needs to stand up to the devil, and resist the temptations to pull. Father reassure her that you at her side, that she can totally trust you that she does not have to pull to forget or deflect but she can turn to you, giving her problems, concerns, frustrations to you and know that you and that you will take them away. Bless her, Lord, starting at the top of her head to the sole of her feet, healing her from all that the devil has put upon her body and in her mind. In the precious name of Jesus...Amen
Jenn, you don't have to hide from God, you can't, He sees and knows you better than you know yourself, reach out to Him. When you feel the urge to pull, say a prayer, asking God for the strength to resist. I am glad to have you as my new friend. Take care and Lord bless you ... Lynn
gisg7