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kathy2 
i awake wondering if today will be anew
feeling guilty of all i have put them through
so much sorrow i try to hide
it has been too long, i can let anyone inside
thinking that each day will be better than the one before
wondering if today will be the day i hit the floor
closing my eyes knowing how lucky i actually am
just as i'm typing this all see are the shakes of my hands
an old woman at a young age
is it myself i have to blaim
wondering am i being punished
changing the past everyday i have wished
why me why me a selfish question to ask
one day i will awake and feel comfort atlast
drowning myself in sorrow
when will there be a new tomorrow
trying hard to hide these feelings hoping it will help
from that i need to be ok with the hand that i have been dealt
feeling guilty of all i have put them through
so much sorrow i try to hide
it has been too long, i can let anyone inside
thinking that each day will be better than the one before
wondering if today will be the day i hit the floor
closing my eyes knowing how lucky i actually am
just as i'm typing this all see are the shakes of my hands
an old woman at a young age
is it myself i have to blaim
wondering am i being punished
changing the past everyday i have wished
why me why me a selfish question to ask
one day i will awake and feel comfort atlast
drowning myself in sorrow
when will there be a new tomorrow
trying hard to hide these feelings hoping it will help
from that i need to be ok with the hand that i have been dealt
Comments
I am a mother of two and I havr been disabled for almost 5 years. Your journal entry came straight FROM my heart. My girls are almost grown up but life has been so harsh. My oldest daughter is 18, she is a freshman in college and has her own apartment. She works for bank and generally over all she is dynamic. She just doesn't have time for me. I raised these girls alone, we had wonderful times until. My youngest daughter is 16, very intelligent and has been LOVE struck by what appears to GOOD guy. She recently told me that she had already mourned "her mother" and "that I died when I gave up 4 yrs ago"
She hasn't said "I love you" to me in almost 2 years. I want to give up!Give in! Get Out! or something,
CarolBrown