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lazer 
11:58pm, June 20, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
THE FIRST WAS A BORING DAY. I DID NOT FEEL WELL. HAVING A LOT OF PAIN IN THE RIGHT GROIN AND RIGHT TESTICLE AREAS. TREATED FOR INFECTION FOR 2 WEEKS BUT NO RESULTS. I DISNOT THINK IT WAS AN INFECTION. I WILL SEE THE DR ON NEXT TUESDAY.
GOT A CALL FROM MY SISTER AND FOUND OUT A GOOD FRIEND DIED FROM A SUDDEN HEART ATTACK. DID A LOT OF FUN THINGS WITH HIM OVER THE YEARS. OUR FAMILY SURE WILL MISS HIM.
BUSINESS IS SLOW AND I AM NOT FEELING WELL ENOUGH TO REALLY HUMP IT AND DRUM UP SOMETHING. I AM TIRED AND IN ALMOST CONSTANT PAIN. THEN I START WORRYING AND GET ANXIOUS. HOPE THIS ALL ENDS SOON. I WOULD LIKE TO FEEL HEALTHY AND AMBITIOUS AGAIN. JUST CAN'T GET GOING.
I HAVE GAINED 8 LBS BACK. THE CLINCI SAID I COULD POSSIBLY GAIN SOME . I HOPE THIS IS ALL I PUT BACK ON. I AM TRYING TO WATCH IT. I NEED TO GET MORE EXCERSISE BUT I DON'T FEEL UP TO IT. AND ITS COLD NOW WITH MOST DAYS LESS THEN 10 DEGREES. HAD 22 BELOW ZERO NIGHT B-4 LAST.
I FEEL LIKE I NEED SOME SPARK IN MY LIFE. I WANT MY SMILE BACK.
THE ONE POSITIVE IS MY WONDERFUL HARD WORKING WIFE. WHO IS TOO TIRED AND WORRIED TO SHOW ME SOME TIME AND LOVING........WE AREN'T DOING ANYTHING ...
HER DAD IS SUCH A BURDEN AND HE KEEPS US FROM DOING THINGS TOGETHER. MY CHRISTMAS CARD SAYS SHE WILL TAKE ME AWAY FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. ODDS ARE IT WON'T HAPPEN. I'D LAY MONEY ON IT....... DON'T GET ME WRONG. I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I KNOW THIS IS SO HARD ON HER. I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT. I JUST WANT TO FEEL CLOSER TO HER.
MAYBE 09 WILL PROVIDE A TURNING POINT..........ONE WAY OR THE OTHER.
