Journal

My friend Jeanine passed away tues. from Cancer. She is the owner of the resort we have gone to in Canada for close to 20 years. She was a nicelady. She was good to my boys and all the friends and relatives that went there with me over the years. She would give us discounts and freebies and always said  "don't tell Dick!" her husband. we sure will miss her.

work is going ok. I am back selling cars as the construction business is so slow. I am getting close to my 2year anniversary of my rny surgery. still down over 130 lbs. feel good.

I need to see the Dr about another followup scan from my cancer surgery soon.

All in all I feel fairly good. The future is uncertain but I keep my hopes up.

Thanks to all my DS friends for their kindness and caring.

WELL MARCH IS OVER HALF GONE AND I HAVE BEEN BOTH MAD AND HAPPY...... THATS LIFE I GUESS!! FINANCIAL STRUGGLES CONTINUE BUT THERE HAVE BEEN SOME SIGNS FOR HOPE AS OUR COMPANY HAS STARTED GETTING A COUPLE OF BID REQUESTS AND WE HAVE BOOKED ONE GOOD JOB. (HAPPY) WE ARE TRYING TO REDO OUR MORTGAGE WITH COUNTRYWIDE.... WE JUMP THRU HOOPS FOR THEM AND YET THEY HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO HELP. MY CREDIT TOOK A REAL BEATING LAST YEAR AS I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL 3 TIMES AND OUT OF WORK OVER HALF THE YEAR.(MAD) SO WE DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN KEEP THE HOUSE.... ADJUSTABLE RATE MORTGAGE IS UP TO 13.49% INTEREST AND $2,700.00 A MONTH PAYMENT. (VERY MAD) SO WE MAY HAVE TO RIDE OUT A FORECLOSURE AND THEN MOVE ON. THIS IS SAD AS WE LOVE OUR COUNTRY HOME HERE ON 10 BEAUTIFUL ACRES IN THE HEART OF THE BRAINERD LAKES, MINNESOTA AREA... WE ARE JUST HOPING THAT COUNTRYWIDE CAN HELP US WITH SOME KIND OF PROGRAM.. WE HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH THEIR HOPE TEAM BUT SO FAR THERE HAS NOT BEEN MUCH HOPE. MOSTLY DUE TO OUR INABILITY TO SHOW ADUQUATE INCOME DUE TO ME BEING OFF WORK SO MUCH LAST YEAR.. (MAD)

SIGNS OF SPRING ARE HERE. RAIN INSTEAD OF SNOW AND THE SNOW IS ALMOST ALL MELTED AWAY. (HAPPY) PRAY FOR THOSE IN OUR UPPER MIDWEST WHO ARE FACING FLOOD DAMAGE. I HOPE THEY FIND COMFORT AND PROTECTION FROM THE WRATH OF FLOODING.

WELL I AM GOING TO TRY TO STAY OPTIMISTIC AS I KNOW JESUS HAS A PLAN FOR US. I KNOW HE ONLY GIVES US CHALLENGES WE CAN HANDLE. SO I AM TRYING TO SMILE ON THE CHALLENGES FACING US TODAY. AND I WILL KEEP SEARCHING FOR MY PATH TO THE END.....

BUT SOME DAYS IT IS HARD TO FEEL AND THINK THIS WAY. THIS IS WHERE ALL THE KINDNESS AND HOPE AND PRAYER AND WARM FEELINGS AND WORDS OF WISDOM FROM THE FOLKS HERE AT D.S. COME INTO PLAY. IT MEANS SO MUCH AND HELPS IMMENSLY!!

WELL FEB IS HERE ALREADY.  WHERE DOES THE TIME GO??

 I AM STILL SORE FROM THE SURGERY AND THE HEALING SEEMS TO BE GOING SLOW. I AM TIRED OF THE COLD HERE. MINUS 10 AGAIN THIS AM.  OUR BUSINESS IS VERY SLOW-STOPPED NO JOBS RIGHT NOW. WE LAID OFF OUR CREW MEMBERS. NEED TO MAKE SOME $$ AS THE BILLS ARE PILING UP. WE ARE PRAYING FOR SOMETHING TO GIVE. WE ARE BOTH CONSIDERING GETTING JOBS UNTIL THE CONSTRUCTION BUSINESS GETS ROLLING AGAIN. WE ARE TRYING TO STAY STRONG. MY FAITH IN JESUS REALLY HELPS. I KNOW HE WILL PROVIDE. BUT IN THE MEANTIME I HATE THE STRUGGLE. I STILL HAVE ANXIETY STRUGGLES AND SOME DEPRESSION ALTHOUGH THE SUICIDLE THOUGHTS ARE LESS FREQUENT AND NOT AS INTENSE. THIS IS GOOD! WELL THATS ALL FOR NOW. GOTTA DO SOME ERRANDS. I MISS MY WIFE WHO IS GONE TO MY MOTHERS FOR A WEEK TO HELP OUT. THEY LIVE IN ARKANSAS WHERE THEY HAD ALL THE ICE. LOTS OF DAMAGE TO TREES ETC.

GOD BLESS ALL WHO STRUGGLE TODAY!