Journal

Alrighty.

Well it's Friday and I could care less. People are getting psyched up for the weekend and I just want to hide. I'm not quite sure my decision to come out of "hiding" and back online & back to DS, was the best decision. Already I'm embroiled in the lives of some old friends (not on DS). In the past, reaching out to others and focusing on their  problems helped me get through mine. They were a good distraction. Now I'm thinking, "what's the point?"

Very few understand just how deep my depression goes. Am thinking going back to my psychiatrist. I doubt there've been any advancements in the drug field, but at least my talking to him could get my problems down on paper. Add it to the pile for if & when I file for disability.

Sometimes I just wanna break shit, yanno?   >:{

Yesterday was the first time in I didn't know how long that I had any desire to come online. Last night, I ended up making contact with an old friend who'd informed me that I'd been "away" for just shy of a year! I'm kinda dumbfounded by that. How easy it is to let Depression & Illness disrupt your life.

Wow... hard to believe it's been so long! But I'm back and will hopefully have an easier time with things. 

::sigh::

    I went offline. For months I absolutely dreaded the idea of coming back online and back to DS. I just got to a place where I felt there was too much being asked/expected of me. I had some folks constantly wanting emotional support, others just wanted to cause problems, etc.  And so for my own mental health, I had to "check out" for a while.

    Can't say I'm 100% out of the black hole I was in, but I'm hoping that expanding my world a bit more, getting outta my head more, exerting more effort in finding the hope that I need... that all of this will change things for me. I so desperately need a change!  :/

Soooo... I'm back, gang! Here's hoping this ride's a good one.

Religious Biggots. I can't stand them!

It's one thing to be steadfast and firm in what you believe, I can admire that. But don't think you have the right to tell others that you deserve respect when you have no intention of returning that respect. Truth is none of us know for sure that what we personally believe is the "right" or "true" faith.

Oh, sure you may think it, feel it, believe it, but you cannot HONESTLY say you know it. If you do claim that... I'd like to see your incontravertable proof! So would the rest of the world since it would stop a great deal of the bloodshed that's going on. So please spare the rest of us your rhetoric and your preaching. All we want is the same basic respect that you want. If you can give that, we're cool. If not, sod off! No one needs your mindgames. 

And since you're already here and reading, don't claim that this is a Christian country or anything else. America is a nation for ALL people, not just the predominent group. Re-read our Constitution & Bill of Rights, if you doubt my words... you'll see that according to our forefather's plans it's against our beliefs to have an established religion of any kind.

Remember, it's:  Of the people, by the people and for the people... not just the biggest group of people...  ALL THE PEOPLE!  :)