rebeljen's Journal

Oh my how quickly the holidays passed by.  There were some very good times and some sad.  But we all made it through them the best we could and I thank God that I have been so busy that there was not much time to dwell on the past.  The kids Christmas was great.  They all had tons of fun, playing with new toys and gizmos and ofcourse destroying the house with tons of wrapping paper and bows etc.  Normall I'm so much more organized with the trash bag ready before they start but this year I didn't even bother.  I just ket them rip up the gifts and go on about their day---playing with friends, riding bikes and such.  We had a big Christmas dinner Sunday before so on Christmas it was just us with no expectations.  We had dinner about 5pm---just me and the kids and I kept it simple.  We had Ham, potatoes (out of a box), veggies and pie.  Simple.  Just the way I wanted it.  The only difficult time was just as we were getting ready to eat and I went to my 15 year old son's room and he was in tears, missing his dad no doubt.  Right or wrong, I just let him be and told him when he was ready to come eat it was ready.  A few minutes later he pulled it together and joined us.  All in all, everyone survived.

December 28th my step-son whom I haven't seen came to stay a week with us.  I was nervous as ever and alittle scared.  The kids were so excited and a little scared too.  He's a bit on the goth side so we weren't quite sure what to expect.  When this 18 year old kid in a gothic style trench coat and chains around his neck showed up we were a bit on the frightened side but all in all he turned out to be a pretty cool kid.  My 14 year old daughter hid the chains the first night he was here---LOL!!! and he never wore the trench coat the whole week he was here.  Just wore the normal t-shirts and blue jeans.  He was as wild and rowdy as the rest of the kids and it was allright.  He even made me dinner while I was at work and I got to come home to ROAST, POTATOES, HOMEMADE GRAVY (with flour lumps--oh well!!!) and veggies.  The food was great but I told him I needed to teach him to CLEAN!!!!  LOL!!!  I told him he was gonna spoil me and that I would not want him to go home when the week was over.  We went to the drive-in, out to Peter Piper's Pizza, The Strip, and Freemont Street for the light show and had a GREAT week.  I was sad to see him go home.  He's so much like his dad which really was cool.  It amazes me to see Greg's spirit living on in his children and it blesses my heart so.

The amazing thing is my step-son (Shane) claims to be wiccan in his beliefs but since he has been back home he has had dreams of his dad and Jesus preaching to him and now has a desire to read the Bible and go to church.  We didn't even go to church when he was here!!!  I told him that perhaps his dad is reaching out to him and trying to tell him something and that he needs to listen to him.  Strange---but true.  He agrees with me.  So I am praying for him to find God and find some meaning in this life from his dreams.  Only spent a week with him but I love this kid as if he were my own.  He wants to come back here and be with us very soon and as chaotic as it was having another teenager in the house I hope he can.

Another thing I have been thinking about is these pins that my husband had that seem to keep showing up around here.  They say 100% and he got them from his job at Sprint years ago.  I know he had quite a few and gave them to the kids.  I have trown them away, returned them to the kids but they just keep showing up everywhere.  And I keep wondering where they are coming from.  I must have thrown away about 30 of them and I know he didn't have that many.  So somehow is this my sign that his spirit is still here???  Am I just blind to his presence or is this a sign that everything will one day be OK again???  I just don't know.  But where do they keep coming from?  Strange???  I just don';t know what to think of this now.

I hope you are all well and thanks so much for listening to me.

love, Jen