rebeljen's Journal

A lot of people get depressed at Christmas time.  I understand about being depressed about Christamas.  I think part of it is the change of weather and then of course the wants of our kids can sometimes be so demanding and out of our reach that we feel like failures if we can't fulfill their every wish.  Money is always a hot topic for me at Christmas and as much as I always loved being with family for the holidays when I was growing up, I remember feeling like my gifts were not "all that" as my cousins raved about the new video games or whatever it was that they got.  My mom did the best she could raising 2 kids on her own and don't get me wrong---it was great but sometimes it just didn't seem fair.  No matter how hard she tried it was always a challenge for her to make Christmas special.  But she did find ways to do it.  We always picked kids from the Tree of Joy to get gifts for and had a birthday cake "for Jesus."  She instilled in us that it is better to give to the less fortunate than us. She tried to teach us the "real" meaning of Christmas.

 I always get a bit depressed at Christams.  I shouldn't but I do.  I'm one of those that  the tree goes up a week before and comes down the day after.  I do always try to get the kids one thing from their top 10 list and then they know after that---it's about what I can afford and what I want to get them. 

This year has already hit me hard.  I broke down in tears at counseling the week before Thanksgiving and exclaimed----"With all I'm going through now how am I supposed to make this a good Christams for the kids?  I just don't know if I can!"  And you know what they said to me?  "Who said it's your job to make the holidays fun for them.  That's what the lights, decorations and music are supposed to do.  Keep it real with your kids.  After all this year is NOT going to be the same as last."   

WOW---reality 101.  I put so much pressure on myself to make this a good holiday for them I was giving myself an anxiety attack and an emotional breakdown at the same time.  And that was BEFORE we even had Thanksgiving.  And that's what society has lead us to believe.  It dictates that we have to buy the most sought after, most expensive gifts, wrapped in the most expensive paper with ribbons and bows to be happy and make our kids happy.   Society says it is our job to make the holidays for the kids when in fact, the lights and music and the excitement already does.  We have to focus on the real reason for the season (Jesus Christ) and cherish these precious moments with our families.  That's what matters most.  Eat lots of great food and give gifts that come from our hearts not our pocket books.  Don't charge up that credit card to the max just to spend the next year trying to figure out how to pay it all off.  In the end it will just bring more misery and anxiety than it is worth. Merry Christmas to all and remember Jesus is the reason for the season---It's not just about the gifts.