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rebeljen 
12:45pm, August 9, 2008
I'm sinking into depression and I don't know why. Everything seems dark right now and all I want to do is sleep. I think this is a phase (oh I hope so) and that it too will pass. Maybe it is the holidays soon in coming and my first season without my husband here to cook for and laugh with. We always had the turkey on Thanksgiving---with all the fixings and an UNTRADITIONAL christmas dinner---lasagna one year, chicken another. I feel like curling up into a ball and just staying there forever as if life could cese to exist with 4 kids in the house. I'm thinking about going to the DR's for anti-depressants. I think I may have to for a while to get past this. We have a fmily history of depression and I'm no stranger to medications. It was my husband who gave me the strength and encouragement I needed when I decided to stop them before. I feel lost right now and I'm crying again. This really sucks!!!
My family doesn't understand why I feel like I have to face this on my own. Afterall, they live 2 states away and it's not like they can just drive over and take care of thge kids for a night or drive them to scouts or counseling etc. They think I should just pack up and leave the mobile home, job, schools etc and move closer to them. As tempting as that may seem I have promised the kids I would not pull them out of school durring the year and I promised the lady I'm buying the mobile home from that I won't abandon her either. I have a good job and responsibilities here that I just can't walk away from. maybe next August before the school year starts back up I can fix and sell the mobile home and move the kids and I there. I just don't know. Sorry, just rambling on right now.
I don't even get online much these days. Between work and kids and sleeping I just don't feel like it. I know it helps me and I like it but I'm just either too busy or too depressed.
Well, that's enough for now. I'm gonna go and take a little nap before dinner. Hope everyone is doing well and I'll be on again soon. Love, Jen
Comments
Jen,
Hey go to the doctor and have complete physical. I am antidepressants now. And at least I am not crying 24/7. and able to function. You should never make any major decisions before the first year is over. Also if you are blue, don't jump on those major decisions. I think you are petty smart and I needed to share that with you.
eileenR