rebeljen's Journal

FINALLY THE SENTENCING...........One small victory, a day from Hell, and the beginning of the rest of my life.....

I didn't know what to call this but it is exactly what I said. Today has been a day from Hell which resulted in one small victory and hopefully the beginning of the rest of my life.

I went to court today for the sentencing for the young man (18 years old) who was the drunk driver that killed my husband in June. I had to listen to his statement first in which he stated that he was very sorry and remorseful for my husband's death and how alcohol abuse is an illness and it was an "accident". And how he woke up everyday feeling bad about Greg's death and felt bad for my family. Then his attorney had to put in his two cents worth where he tried to recount the defendant's side of the event, how he had 2 blown out tires that attributed to the accident, that he wasn't really speeding because he was only going between 49 and 51 MPH in a 45 MPH spped zone, and so on. I just sat there shaking my head in disbelief. Thank God for the district attorney who set the record sraight and pointed out that this man's blood alcohol content was at a 2.2 at 1 & 1/2 hours AFTER the accident. And that of course he had 2 blown out tires after hitting the curb on one side and crossing 3 lanes of traffic and the center median on the other side before hitting our car.

Then it was my turn. I got up, got my notes and the picture of Greg I had for displaying to the judge, and almost collapsed in a mess of nerves. I sat up the picture (the defense attorney had to help me cause I couldn't do it without fumbling with it), which the judge had me turn it towards the defendant for him to see, held my notes in my hand (which by now were shaking so bad I could barely read them), and I began. I apologized to the judge and told him I would do my best to make my statement and he told me to take my time. Before my first words came out---I was in tears. I had to speak slowly and loudly enough for everyone in the court to hear. My nerves were shot before I even began. But somehow, by the grace of God, I managed to get through my impact statement and made it known to the judge that I now have not only the emotional issues to deal with but the $55,000 in medical leins I received in the mail last week. I asked the court to sentence him with consideration as to the effect this has had on my family and consider that our road to recovery will be a long and difficult one.

In his closing statements the judge told this man that for everyday he woke up "feeling bad" to remember that Mr. Lewis won't wake up at all. Tough words but they were the right ones to say to him. Perhaps to make him realize the full impact of what has happened to my husband. He was sentenced to 15 years, the maximum sentence, and he won't be eligible for parole for 6 years. And even then they will notify me before hand so I can attend his parole board hearing. He also granted $55,000 in restutution which he said I'll probably never see unless this man gets out and wins the lottery or something. Then he wished me good luck.

A rather short proceeding but one that has taken it's toll on me. I am a mess of emotions and it seems that it is all very real to me now. My husband is gone, the drunk driver is sentenced and here I am. Left alone to raise my kids, pick up the pieces and move on. How do I do that??? I just don't know but I am hopeful that today is the beginning of the rest of my life. Hopefully I'll be able to put my husband at rest now and move on. I know I have to be strong for my kids and myself now and do the best I can to "pick up the pieces" of my broken heart damaged emotions, and move on. It will take a lot of time and work but that is what I have to do now. So now you can understand the title of this journal.

In closing, I want to personally thank my friend Bonnie Bulla, Stop DUI's Peggy Haney, and the District Attorney's Victim's witness advocate, Maureen Schroeder for being with me, holding my hand, hugging me and letting me know it would be ok. You all have been so supportive to me in today's events and I just want to say the victory I have today is yours as well. They are not the only ones who have helped me through this whole ordeal. For everyone who has listened to me ramble on, cry, driven me places, had me over for dinner, watched the kids, and just been available, my friends and family, all my new online friends and family, you know who you are, I thank you too for being there. Please keep us in your hearts and prayers as you are all in ours.

One more thing---Stop DUI is planting a tree and doing a dedication for Greg and other victim's of drunk driving on December 8th in Sunset Park. I am taking my kids for the day and anyone who wants to accompany us is welcome. God Bless and take care. Love, Jen