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lovecj 
I am really struggling with my health right now, and it makes me feel like maybe my husband was right to leave me. I am a mess, and it is so sad to think that maybe I am not worthy of being loved because I have all these problems with my body. I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and PCOS, but I am still me trapped in this damn broken body. Is there no man out there that can love me anyway, I have all this passion and love to give and for what? I feel so cheated out of all my dreams for this life, the biggest disappointment was the man I chose to share it with. I loved him with all my being and he knew it, I was good to him and never put my illness on him....he left me anyway out of the blue, with no warning or conversation. This is not the life I wanted for me or my kids, and though I try everything the doctors tell me and take excellent care of myself...I feel like crap. It Sucks! If you are reading this, sorry it is so down but it is my reality now and I needed to vent.
Just can't stop feeling low lately, I think I need therapy. I miss being a family, having my kids with me everyday and every moment. I hate having to share them all the time, having to miss out on half of their lives and experiences because they are with him...and I am no longer invited. I feel like I was kicked out of my own life and I never had a say. He never said a word, just I want a divorce. I still don't really understand what happened and I am shocked he has not come back to me. I thought he was having a crisis and would snap out of it...not sign of that happening.
I smile and laugh with friends, but I work at it and inside I ache for the love and contentment I felt as a family unit.
I miss my husband and best friend every day and it has been over two years now. Every holiday, or special event in my life brings it all up again. The loss the pain, the rejection...I am sick and tired and feeling this way. I want to accept this completely and quit feeling so sad. I am really trying to find joy in each day, lately that is getting harder and harder to do.
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