Every night when I am lying in bed--i just think of my life--and i get really sad, frusterated, and restless--
I go from--worrying and fearing death--to what am I going to do about law school next year (i'm looking at 67,000+ a year)--to the fact that i have never had a boyfriend-- and that i am still a virgin--and how i would like such a connection/relationship--but then on the flip side--if i every do get a boyfriend etc.--i get married have kids, grandkids, then i die!--not too mention my weight and how i have wasted all this time being heavy (probaly the reason for the lack of relationship)--then i wonder about 12012----and what is going to happen...? I actually sometimes get really nervous and tense--almost panic attack-like--but not quite to that degree--
i just want to wish i felt normal--and not longing for so much





