JustMe27's Journal

Today I'm just not feeling all that great because it's so hard to go through my own problems and then to hear and read others are still having their moments and all I want to do is be there for them and my friends on here to be there and to be your crying shoulder.
I really to feel bad for everyone here and hope the best for everyone here.
I was thinking about a song and some how started to think about my grandma my mothers mom and how baldy I would have wanted to be there before she passed away and how angry I feel because every time she would tell me in Spanish "pon plata en tu chanchito todo los dias para que algun dia puedas verme" that says " put money in your piggy bank everyday so some day you can come and see me, I can't stop crying inside and think that I never made that wish come true and how even though she is gone, how much she must have missed me and wanted me to be there and I couldn't
Why does life seem to be so long and yet so short.
I am a reckless mess, and it feels good to come on here and talk about it because I know deep inside I am hurting so badly and all I know is to keep it to my self because I know my new family would just not give me the time of day to express my self on how I am feeling about all of this.