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reerose 
after i let myself type out how and why i lost friends, it was theraputic (usually i have to close my mind to the friends & money hurt or i'll fall far. have even had petit m seizures from trying to figure out "Why?" ( trauma). so i finally forced myself to get everthing needed to sue for whatever i might recover. called the lawyer to set up an appt and to make it brief - the letters he said he'd send which ususally gets people to respond, etc., he won't do now. it's straight to court. ok, but i was a legal secty - he wants to get the consultation fee, court filing fees, and his set fee (which he wont disclose til the appointmernt) from me rather than write a letter, get a positive response and that would get him him about 1/6 of the whole shebamg he insists i do.
there's more bummer stuff happening but i dont wanna think about that i just keep wondering how long i can go on like this. thats all, folks.
but there's good news: Rocky's behavior toward me has improved over the past 2 days. yay!
