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DJH 
1:08pm, October 9, 2009
Hi everyone.
We've received some unhappy notes from folks on the site in the last 24 hours who think that DailyStrength is endorsing Proposition 8 in California (which would prohibit same sex marriages). Apparently, the proponents of this proposal have bought a significant amount of advertising on the web, as these ads are appearing all over the place, including DS.
We've been asked, and even accused, of having a political bias or agenda. DAILYSTRENGTH DOES NOT ENDORSE ANY POLITICAL OPINION. Why? Well, we're not a political site...we're just a place for people to talk about their issues, problems and feelings. We're fine with folks on the site discussing these important issues, but we don't take sides on issues....that's just not our job. If political ads run, fine, but we're not soliciting any organization and we don't take dollars directly from political entities.
In fact, we try not to have any opinion at all about important issues, because it's not our place to moderate or silence one opinion over another. In the past, we've been accused of siding with some of our members over others when disagreements break out - we don't do that either. Honestly, we think of ourselves as a home, a refuge and a safe place where all are treated equally and none are unwelcome. We only step in when our members turn on one another, with the sole goal of returning everyone to a place of healing and peace.
All of that said, we have tried to remove the Prop 8 ads on our site, because we have realized that the ads run counter to the positive experience that some folks would like to have on our site. My big test for what's right or wrong is if you leave DailyStrength feeling better than when you arrived...if we're upsetting you, we can do better. These ads are upsetting people, and so I'd like to remove them. They're not all gone yet, but we're trying and we hear you. To be clear, we'd block anti-8 ads as well, as we'd want to be fair to both sides.
For me personally, Prop 8 is an interesting challenge. Generally speaking we don't really have a policy on political ads, but this particular issue challenges my belief that DS should be a safe haven for all. Prop 8 actually calls for "eliminating" a certain right for a group of individuals. On DailyStrength, if we suddenly announced that certain folks could do things and others couldn't, we'd have an uprising on our hands, and folks would protest and leave us in droves. We have an active and vibrant gay and lesbian community on DS who sees this bill as an attack on their basic rights, and from that vantage point it's as offensive as running dieting ads in our Eating Disorders community (which happened until we banned them), or obnoxious dating ads in our Bereavement community (which also happened until we banned them).
My personal opinion (which is why I'm writing this in my personal account) is that Prop 8 is a horrible, meanspirited bill which is not only inappropriate in a day and age when so many more pressing issues need to be addressed, but also fundamentally counter to democracy. I can't think of any other recent bill based on the premise of eliminating basic rights for a group of people. It just seems wrong, cruel and stupid. But that's my opinion, and I express it as a member of DS, not an employee.
As a company, we listen to your thoughts, and when a significant group of people complain that we are dong (or permitting) something that upsets them, we'll try to fix it. We believe in free speech, but we also believe in always maintaining a warm, welcoming and open space for conversation and support.
Sorry for the rant...I just want all of you to know that we listen, we care, we talk about these issues and we constantly try to improve.
D
Comments
Thanks Doug.
wzmann
thanks doug, i think you're doing a great job.
sambod
Thanks for the note Doug
I hadn't realized this was going on!
Thanks for trying to take a stand.
I see all this good "food advertisment" on this page for foods full of gluten. :)
Just a side line but sure not as important as the issue of human rights your discussing.
JudyL
JudyL
Thanks for the note Doug
I hadn't realized this was going on!
Thanks for trying to take a stand.
I see all this good "food advertisment" on this page for foods full of gluten. :)
Just a side line but sure not as important as the issue of human rights your discussing.
JudyL
JudyL
I came across this and just want to respond to something you said here. I'm from CA and I don't feel or think (and I've thought a lot about it) that prop 8 is a human rights issue at all. I'm all for people having equal rights in this country. MARRIAGE ,which I believe God says in the bible, is a spiritual union of a man and a woman,
can not be the same as a civil union. I believe all gays and lesbians should be able to visit their partners in the hospital, get tax breaks, etc......just that they should be satisfied to have a legal union but not demand that it be called marriage. Marriage is an institution created by God ......HE set the rules and guide lines for it to work....not us. I'm aware most don't agree with this.... but their argument is with God the Creator.
Robynann
Doug - thanks for the comments. I do, however, totally agree with what Robynann just wrote.
Thanks for all of your work here.
Blessings,
Jan
ohnoflo
I agree with Robynann....and I find it funny that, while reading this, there are two ads on here with a "Gay Marriage...for or against" thing on it...one of which shows two men kissing!
KansasGal
Well, with the caveat that I am only representing my opinion, I respectfully disagree with the women above. Regardless of your feelings about marriage, my opinion is that it's just not right to deny equal protection to those whom want to marry the person they love, regardless of sex. If there were a separate and entirely equal concept to marriage, then I'd be fine with that - but that means that the financial, government, health and legal privileges that marriage brings would be bestowed upon same-sex couples. Unfortunately, that doesn't exist (and will likely never exist), so we're left with marriage.
You can choose to believe in God all you want, but I don't believe you have the right to impose your beliefs on others. Religion and politics are meant to be separated, and our country is founded on that very principle. So while your God may not condone gay marriage, you don't have the right to dictate your religious beliefs onto others. No one is forcing you or anyone else to do something you don't want to do. Voting for Prop 8 is simply punishing others who aren't like you. It sounds an awful lot like segregation to me....
My opinion. Take it or leave it.
DJH
Dug you are wonderful in your care and commitment to your family here. I wish I could get all the doctors together and make them look at this site. You have done more for me to keep me safe upon coming home than all the meds put together.
ClaudiaD
Doug, thanks for the note. You quelled my concerns about DS, and I'll be happy to remain here and keep helping and being helped.
mauree
Thanks for your reassurances, Doug. I wrote to Google asking them to be cognizant of where they were placing their ads.
Since the "Institution Created by God" is open to heterosexual atheists, Buddhists, or Muslims, but not to Christian gays, that dog wont hunt. Church and State shouldn't be determining the rules of either, but marriage is simply the term used worldwide to recognize unions. You don't have to get anywhere near a church in order to get married ... as long as you're straight.
guypaul
Thank you for the consideration of both sides of this. DS Staying neutral on a hotly debated topic is not easy, especially when it involves many unbalanced emotions and distortions. God does not create marriage, people do. Love is love, regardless of who is receiving and giving. God does not segregate, people do. Thanks again.
ahg
Right on Doug.....but you remember you have power and influence....so your opinion is valued by many. So to give your personal opinion on which side you stand is encouraging to some and hurtful to others. So to be neutral...and then say your opinion is contradicting, its no different than a "belief". Anyhow thank you for being considerate!
TekJoe