joblessinmi's Journal

All I do is lay in bed and think "If I don't get to sleep now, my whole day is going to be ruined!"  lol

I'm going back to the therapist today.  It should be interesting.  I'd have to go back and look, but I don't think I've seen her since June?  Last time I was in she asked to see pics from my wedding.  I'm not sure I'm going to bring those in.  We will probably have a lot she would want to talk about and we won't even look at them and it's a big book to haul around.

I got an email from my aunt today.  She asked about how my brother is doing and I'm worried I may have said too much.  I told her that he really won't talk to me and that we have all these differences of opinions about the way we were raised and our views of mom & dad's marriage.  I thought we had a great childhood and great parents, and they had a great marriage and he seems to think we were mistreated, and their marriage was crap.  First off, it's hurts to hear that.  I mean, I thought we were raised just fine and mom & dad were married for 36(?) years and I've only seen them fight like maybe 1 time, even though my mom says they fought more than that, they just didn't do it in front of us kids.  So maybe since he has been living with them longer (a heck of a lot longer, too long if you ask me, but whatever), maybe he saw a different side.  But everything I saw was fine.  I think a lot of it is that he doesn't want to believe that a marriage takes work.  He decided he needs a "marriage coach" or whatever the hell he called it because he doesn't think he had a good example to pattern his own marriage by.  I honestly don't see the problem.  Plus, whenever I called mom to ask her marriage advise, she would only listen and then say that we had to work things out for ourselves.  And that better be what the marriage coach is telling him, because they are not there, they do not know what's going on, and they have no right to judge or tell him what to do!  And during our childhood, he says he was robbed of his childhood because they made him get a job!  OK people, his job was to once a week (or was it every-other week?) go around the dumpsters and pick up trash, maybe a 5 minute job.  That's it.  And I remember he didn't want to do it, it was like pulling teeth getting him to do it.  But I remember being so jealous because he had money to call his own and do with as he wanted.  He could get his own comic books and baseball cards and whatever he wanted and mom wouldn't even let me babysit and I was older!  He doesn't see it that way.  He sees it as he was forced to work slave labor and wasn't aloud to sit on his ass and watch TV.  I think it's really interesting how two different people, raised the same way, can turn out so differently.  But at the same time it's frustrating because I don't know how to talk to him.  We are such polar opposites.  He doesn't want to work or put any kind of effort into anything (except chess - whatever! lol), he feels entitled to everything, he's very much a complainer, the kids been depressed since the day I've known him.  I just don't get it.  Anyway, it would be a great case study for a Sociologist!

The only other thing on my mind is that I'm taking a second trip down to Indy to see my friend.  I'm not even sure if she really needs the help this time, I'm just going because I need to get out of the house.  I'm bored silly and my brain is getting mushy!  If I had the cash on hand, now would be the perfect time to take a class and exercise my brain muscle.  Maybe I'll go look into that.

Thanks for reading!  Have a great day!