since the ECT in September...
October 31, 2009 6:23pm
My memory IS improving; slowly but surely!!!
aposey
10:47pm, July 21, 2009
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About Me
aposey
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About Me
I do love humor, and I love to communicate with others, face to face, & on the computer. The Tetrabenazine that my neurologist prescribed for me in 2008 has really saved my life, as far as the Dystonia, the associated pain, & other movement disorders are concerned. The only "contraindication" about it is that it makes me drowsy during the day, yet only able to sleep little at night. &, I'm on Lexapro (an anti-depressant that causes insomnia). I've been on that for nearly two years, & according to my pdoc, I cannot be switched. I'm suicidal without it, but I'm hypomanic, etceteras, on it. I was diagnosed bipolar II when I was 21, but now I switch back and forth between 1 & 11.
I do love humor, and I love to communicate with others, face to face, & on the computer. The Tetrabenazine that my neurologist prescribed for me in 2008 has really saved my life, as far as the Dystonia, the associated pain, & other movement disorders are concerned. The only "contraindication" about it is that it makes me drowsy during the day, yet only able to sleep little at night. &, I'm on Lexapro (an anti-depressant that causes insomnia). I've been on that for nearly two years, & according to
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Interests
theater; acting; drama; writing; all art reading; self-education, & educating others; children; nature; psychology; psychiatry; music; singing (although I "can't carry a tune"); honesty;recovery;politics;liberalism;nature arts; nature conservation; feminism; humor; helping others, whenever I can, and in whatever way I can; animals; God, & the dharma. Oh, & freedom (or, its illusion).
theater; acting; drama; writing; all art reading; self-education, & educating others; children; nature;
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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2 hugs received, 2 hugs given
Yesterday
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aposey gave Meekacat a kiss 3:06am
Back atcha! I hope it brings the same smile to you that your endless love & affection always brings…
Wednesday
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aposey gave Meekacat a hug 12:13am
thanks, sweetie! i'm feeling better, but having a hard time sleeping lately. i don't know exactly what…
November 2
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aposey gave Meekacat a hug 12:08am
i'm thinking about you, praying for you, & wishing you well, my love! alexis xo…
October 31
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aposey wrote a journal entry: since the ECT in September... 6:23pm
My memory IS improving; slowly but surely!!!…
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aposey changed their mood to Excellent 6:18pm
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Journal
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Don't believe what my goals say...
July 25, 2009 6:59pm
As of 7/25/09, I only am 7 days smoke-free; I don't know how to edit "my goals"; I tried to do so, but just came back here. Oh …
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I'm on my seventh day!
July 25, 2009 6:46pm
So yeah, I'm crying more often & more easily, but that's just part of the normal nicotine withdrawal. But I'm so proud of …
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I "relapsed" on smoking cigarettes a few weeks ago...
February 14, 2009 11:02am
I need to wait until about March 1rst to get my prescription for "Chantix" filled, as the gum, & any other NRT, has stopped …
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(Some of) what's been going on lately....
December 16, 2008 9:27pm
I've got my computer up & running (at least for the time being...[still needs more work]), so thanfullyu, I'm back, & so happy to …
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Hugbook
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Kiss
Blowing you a kiss to your sweet cheek, hoping it brings a smile to your face Ali!!!! Sandra
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Ray of Sunshine
Hey sweetie, sending you some sunshine, hoping it brightens your day. How are you feeling Alexis? I'm getting some meds tomorrow, so hopefully I'll start to feel better. Sent with love, oxoxo Sandra
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Little Love
Sending you love for your treat on Halloween! How are you doing? You are in my prayers Alexis. oxoxo Sandra
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Hug
Hey girlfriend!!! I'm so glad to have a hug from you. I've been very concerned. I just got back from a visit to my family in Idaho. It was great to get away. I have felt so very stressed. Finances just never let up, it seems and the first thing I cut is myh meds. I guess I will forever more be the mom that has to somehow make things work, no matter the toll on me. Some days I resent it, others I just accept it. My litttle grandson makes it all worth it. I just miss my family in Idaho and I feel so "stuck" here in Montana. Waiting to hear from you when you feel like writing honey! xxxx Sandra
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Hug
ALEXIS I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!! xxxx Sandra
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Photos
aposey hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Bipolar Disorder
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 17 years now, but now have the added diagnosis of "with psychotic features," because I have had a psychotic episode when manic & off my medication. Now I'm really in a bad place because the antipsychotic prescribed to me has left me with tardive dyskinesia and cervical dystonia, which basically means I can't hold still; I have muscle spasms and my head bobs up & down and moves from side to side. I'm very embarrassed by it and am now isolated.
Treatments
- Clozaril Not Working
- I had to stop this; it was prescribed by my "Abnormal Movements Specialist" (a neurologist), to get rid of my tardive dyskinesia, but it had way to many bad side-effects, and the tardive dyskinesia has all but gone away on its own, from being off the Geodon (160mg) for a considerable length of time.
- Depakote Working / Worked
- This is the one medicine that I have relied on for 17 years; it keeps me stable
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- I rely on 1mg/night to help me sleep; I can be awake for days without it; however, it's extremely addicting, and I'm ready to get off of it, but it's the only thing that helps with the cervical dystonia.
- Lamictal Somewhat Helpful
- Actually, it was very helpful; it gave me a lot of energy, motivation, drive, and really helped me insofar as clear-thinking and concentration. I had to d/c it due to some rare, severe side-effects, but I would recommend it for someone who's got overwhelming depression, and has nowhere else to turn. It's definitely worth a try!
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- 10 mg makes me manic, but 5mg works well, but it does cause frequent urination.
- Acupuncture Working / Worked
- it has been very helpful, but I need to go for treatments at least once a week, sometimes, to feel the benefits (e.g., uplifted & stabilized mood).
Close Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD)
I am 38 and was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease when I was 18. I inherited it from my father, whose body rejected a transplanted kidney and he died at age 42. I have bipolar disorder and my neuphrologist has told me I will eventually need to have dialysis; I am not a candidate for a transplant, because it's shown to worsen bipolar disorder.
Open Anxiety
I have had GAD for probably the past ten years, but was not dx'd with it until about 2 years ago. Presently, I'm being treated for it with Lexapro (5mg), but that is not working. Prior to that, I "self-medicated" with marijuana & alcohol, but that became a BIG problem for me, and I've now been "in recovery" since 8-23-01. I'm also bipolar, and am 39.
Treatments
- Acupuncture Working / Worked
- It works while the needles are in, and for a short while thereafter, but has shown no long-term benefit, thus far; I'm going to stick with it, though.
- Klonopin Working / Worked
- It works very well in calming my body down, putting me and keeping me asleep (my favorite part of life), but I cannot take it during the day, as I would be a zombie.
- Chiropractic Adjustment Working / Worked
- I do this about once a month and this is where I get my Folic AcidB12 whose ingredients are highly absorbent by the body.
- Lexapro Not Working
Open Dystonia
I've had dystonia for almost 2 years now. I am 39, am bipolar with GAD, and was referred to an "Abnormal Movements" neurologist by my pdoc in July of 2007. This neurologist dx'd me with tardive dyskinesia, tardive dystonia, and cervical dystonia. I couldn't handle the side effects of the Clozaril he put me on for the tardive dyskinesia/dystonia, and received my first round of Botox injections for the cervical dystonia in 11/07. They take at least a month to take effect.
Treatments
- Clonazepam Working / Worked
- 3mg/bedtime stops the movements & puts me to sleep. it does cause dry eyes, however.
- Acupuncture Somewhat Helpful
- it works while the needles are in and for a short while thereafter but thus far it has shown to be of no longterm help. I will continue to pursue it however.
- Chiropractic Adjustment Working / Worked
- I go about once a month for an adjustment and for a bottle of Folic AcidB12 whose ingredients are highly absorbent by the body.
Open Brain Injury
I had an MVA in 1987 that left me comatose, for about three weeks. I was on life-support, my jaw was broken, and my mouth was wired shut. I later went to rehab for about a month, where I learned to talk, write w/my left hand (r is paralyzed), and eventually, walk.
Open Phobia
Type: Agoraphobia (fear of open spaces)I have agoraphobia, & social phobia (to an extent), & have a lot of anxiety when presented w/both situations, esp. when around the unknown.
Treatments
- Acceptance Working / Worked
- when I practice it/use it on a daily basis
- Hypnotherapy Working / Worked
- it didn't work in the past (@ 10 or so yrs ago), but now I have an excellent therapist, who makes audio tapes for me, that I can listen to, again & again.
- Acupuncture Working / Worked
- I have a very gentle loving experienced acupuncturist who is very sensitive to my needs treats me very well hugs me after each visit.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I have been seeing a very loving accepting therapist probono for several months now. Shes great at listening giving me positive affirmations suggestions etc.
Open Stress Management
I become very easily stressed & overwhelmed; it affects my bipolar disorder, my anxiety, my dystonia, & others...I'm virtually never calm & relaxed, except when I'm able to sleep. I'm very emotionally sensitive, & the stress heightens this. I'm just looking for help, & support.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- it can calm & distract me (temporarily)
- Meditation Working / Worked
- I try to meditate when I first get up then at bedtime but its not always possible. I have about 20 great meditation tapes...
- Acupuncture Working / Worked
- I see a really warm loving acupuncturist who was a nurse for several years. She sees me on a sliding scale and charges very little she just wants to help.
- Melatonin Working / Worked
- helps to regulate my sleep schedule 1mgevening more than that can give me strange dreams
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- my therapist is very loving accepting compassionate calming has good advicesuggestions for me.
Open Hypothyroidism
I'm exhausted al of the time; I was inpatient in the Spring, & they did a blood test on me there, showing I had hypothyroidism, & they gave me Synthroid (25mcg), but it just makes me not eat; I'm already underweight...
Open Diabetes Type 2
Hi, I am not diabetic (thus far), but have several friends who are diabetic type 2, & I would like to be part of this group to help them.
Treatments
- Insulin (Regular and NPH) Working / Worked
- Insulin Pump Working / Worked
Open Chronic Pain
I have a lot of chronic pain, from my cervical dystonia, generalized dystonia, & other health problems.
Treatments
- Chiropractic Adjustment Somewhat Helpful
- I do this about once every month or two; it helps somewhat, especially by putting me "back in balance" from falls, etc.
- Lyrica Not Working
- Does not help my neck pain; I'm not currently taking it.
- Meditation Working / Worked
- I try to do this every morning & evening; I have about 20+ meditation tapes that I listen to.
- Neurontin Not Working
- I cannot handle this anymore, so have d/c'd it (w/dr.'s supervision & consent)
- Physical Therapy Working / Worked
- It's starting to help.
- Acupuncture Working / Worked
- this really helps but only in the short run. My acupuncturist sees me on a slidingscale thats the only way I can afford it.
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a SiblingI put "loss of a sibling," but I have also experienced the loss of a parent, two dear friends, & a companion, plus the use of my right arm.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- it has seemed to help somewhat, but in a way, it's been never-ending.
- Grief Counseling Working / Worked
- I have a very good therapist/social worker, who helps me work through my thoughts & feelings of loss, & who affirms my right to have these feelings, etc.
- Helping Others Working / Worked
- it gets me outside of myself; I can always find people who are as bad off, or worse off, than I, and they are sad & lonely, too; we can comfort one another.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- Pets Working / Worked
- I had a cat for a long time, who stayed with me & comforted me. We were very close, but then I lost him, too.
- Poetry Somewhat Helpful
- Prayer Somewhat Helpful
- Remembering Somewhat Helpful
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- It's sort of rare, but is SO comforting when I can get it. Some of my friends are really too young to have lost that much (yet), & many of my older friends have severe health problems, & I do not feel that I have any right to impose my problems on them.
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- It's really good to find "real time" support w/those who are having the same struggles.
- Time Working / Worked
- this has probably been the most helpful, in coming to terms with/accepting all of the loss.
- Meditation Working / Worked
- I have meditation CDs cassette tapes that I listen too mostly at night before I go to sleep.
Open ADHD / ADD
I was diagnosed with ADD at age 21, but at the tine, the only tx available was Ritalin, & my psychiatrist felt I had the potential of abusing that, so he would not treat me w/it. Now, 18 yrs. later, I found out that Strattera is on the market, & I want to pursue treatment.
Open Loneliness
I tend to avoid intimacy out of a fear of being hurt, but now, it's been nearly a decade since I was in a relationship (where I DID get hurt), I'm nearly 40, & I'd like to find a way to explore healthy relationships, & to support others, who are feeling isolated/lonely.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
Open Insomnia
Treatments
- Ambien Working / Worked
- I don't know if it helps
- Counting Sheep Not Working
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Yes; I have a lot of guided meditation tapes, but my tape recorder isn't working, & I can't get a new one right now.
- Music Working / Worked
- somewhat helpful.
- Clonazepam Working / Worked
- it definitely worked at first for a long time thereafter but Ive built up a resistance to it...
- Melatonin Working / Worked
- I take 1 or 2 mg more gives me freaky dreams that wake me up. Im out of it right now. Also it makes me wake early even when I dont need to.
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
I've been a heavy smoker for about 26 years, but my "quit date" is 1/8/09, when I start my "Quit Smoking Now" class.
Treatments
- Chantix Working / Worked
- I quit on 10/29/07, will be on Chantix for three months, and feel great. But I started smoking, and then went on it again, and it really messed with my (bp) mental illness, so I had to stop it
- Chantix Working / Worked
- I quit on 10/29/07, will be on Chantix for three months, and feel great. But I started smoking, and then went on it again, and it really messed with my (bp) mental illness, so I had to stop it
- Easyway To Stop Smoking Not Working
- didn't phase me.
- Hypnotherapy Working / Worked
- Nicotine Gum Working / Worked
- I chew about three to six 4mg pieces per day, but need to quit chewing it a few hours before bedtime; it gives me very vivid, sometimes "spooky" dreams, if I don't, but at this point, I can't...
- Nicotine Patch Working / Worked
- I had to stop it, because it was interfering with my body's ability to absorb certain medications I'm on.
- Willpower Working / Worked
- worked when I was much younger, but not anymore.
