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kanga 
I thought I'd write this in blue since that is how I am feeling. I've been curled up in a ball for 2 weeks. Haven't gone anywhere, stuck at home with a broken car and you can't call friends forever to drive you around-they get tired.
Why am I feeling down? Why am I not functioning? I couldn't even bring myself to come here to DS to talk to my friends. I've just simpleybeen merely existing (if you can call it that). I've had the TV on to hear voices.
I think it started when I had two very important doctor appts to get to in Anchorage and I couldn't find a ride, called about eleven people. Some didn't return my call. Made me feel helpless and worthless. I haven't been able to get to the Senior Center. I enjoy going, they really brighten me up and I love brightening them up!
Then my meds ran out and I was in a lot of pain.
I haven't even worked on my disability online, which is so important, but I can't bring myself to do it! Why? Why is helping myself so hard?
Comments
I don't know the answer to the question. Wish I did.
I think one of the things that happens is the we start to feel down, in pain, sick or whatever and then something else will happen - no ride, car broken down, no help and then meds run out and things just continue to build up until they become so heavy that we can't bear them any more and we just want to hide away.
I wish I were there to give you a helping hand. Hubby could have a go at fixing the car and I could drive you to the drs.
But a step has been made. You have returned here, and I have missed you lots. now the next step and then another and eventually you can get back to living once again. Easy? No, it's not. But I hope that you can do it as I really would like to see you uncurl and back to doing the things that you love to do.
Hugs and love my friend.
Hathani
you know depppression sucks in so many ways. i know how you feel. they say to enjoy the simple things. try to in your mind tell a negative thought to piss off and replace it with a positive, do it to as many negatives as you can. i have been their many a times and knoew all to well how you are feeling.
i hope that you feel better soon. i tuely sympathise with you and i'll send you positive vibes. when you feel up to it drop me a line and have a yarn or better still read my fishing stories they may put a smile on your face....
peace
doubletrouble
Ahh Kanga. Get up and go!
Emory
These tough times are hard and seem endless. I really know what you mean. Keep going. Your friends at DS will not forget you.
Liz11
Been there, done that. Things go in a cycle- day to night, seasons of the year... You feel down now, but things will change and you will feel better. Just remember that your DS friends love you very much!
kc61
I have been there too. I sat there and looked at my disability paperwork, I even picked it up and held the pen in my hand, but it took forever for me to finish filling it out. And I guess I missed a couple of sheets.
I wish your car was working so you could get to your doctors' appt. and could get out of the house. I think when we are sick, we do find out who our friends are. Are there any resources available to you there?
pcoon
Sweetie girl I am so sorry you are going through.
Anniegal
Wow, thank you for your love and support!!
Love each of you. kanga
kanga